The only absolutes in life are death and Texas

Or
Ex-Tex
(Props to Michelle Haus)
Tex Schramm, former Dallas Cowboys general manager and the man who decided football was more important than family and that men liked looking at scantily-clad cheerleaders, has died at the age of 83. In 1966, Schramm convinced NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle to add a second game on Thanksgiving Day, ensuring generations that they would be inflicted with Cowboy football every year while trying to digest tryptophan-laden turkey. In 1972, he replaced the high school cheerleaders on the sideline with professional dancers. Most notably, he's the man who popularized the notion that the Cowboys were "America's Team." In April, it was announced that this fall Schramm would join the Cowboys Ring of Honor, honoring the Hall-of-Famers who have played for Dallas. Schramm's relationship with new owner Jerry Jones delayed the accolade for 12 years following Schramm's retirement. And now he won't. The followers of the Philadelphia Eagles, myself included, a group long noted for being willing to boo anything from the home team to Santa Claus, have something to cheer about.