Freezer Burn

John Henry Williams, money-grubbing scion of Hall of Famer Ted Williams, died Sunday at the age of 35, cutting short his dream of medical science finding a way to get the Hall of Famer to autograph things from the sweet hereafter. Having spent a generally wasted life leeching off his father's name in a series of bad business deals, after Ted's death in 2002, the chip off the old ice block produced an oil stained scrap of paper that assured the world that his father's wish was to have his head cut off, have his torso suspended upside down in a vat of coolant and become the butt of jokes around the world. Before Ted's death, the Boston Red Sox gave John Henry a try-out with a low-level minor league club, where he failed to get a hit and then crashed into a camera well and fractured a rib. Following Marge Schott's death last week, we can hope that a third reprehensible figure associated with baseball will get tapped by the Cosmic Closer soon. Steinbrenner, Selig, Rose - watch your backs.