Rhymer, Writer, Helmer, Helper

In completing pyramids and making matches, Nipsey Russell was among the best
Catch him now only on GSN, as TV’s Poet Laureate is off to his eternal rest
A sad goodbye to a rhymer fantastic
As rigor mortis renders him quite inelastic

Or
Though some of you may not know it
He was TV's foremost poet
So today I rhyme here in his stead,
For Nipsey Russell is now dead.
(Props to Craig)

Or
On Match Game he was a talking head
Catch the reruns 'cause now he’s dead
(Kudos to Mark)

or
He was once the poet laureate of TV
But now worm food is all he'll be
(Honorifics to Mark)
Former Tin Man Nipsey Russell has died at the age of 80. Starting in the 1950s, Russell developed a popular following as a stand-up comedian, which he eventually parlayed into a long-standing gig as one of those TV personalities who were only known for being on TV that the 1970s were so good at producing. Peppering his appearances on The Tonight Show, The Ed Sullivan Show, The Dean Martin Show, the Jackie Gleason Show and such game shows as the many incarnations of Match Game and the $64,000 Pyramid with witty aphorisms and rhyming couplets, Russell became known as the Poet Laureate of Television, which is somewhat akin to being the style maven of the Professional Bowlers Association. On occasion, Russell played it straight, such as his role as Officer Anderson on Car 54, Where Are You?, a role he reprised in the awful cinematic revisitation, as the principal in Wildcats. Appearing as the Tin Man, he also was generally regarded as the best thing about The Wiz, which is somewhat akin to being the smartest guy on Hee Haw.

A sampling from Nipsey’s Garden of Verses
The opposite of pro is con;
That fact is clearly seen;
If progress means move forward,
Then what does Congress mean?

Before we lose our autonomy
And our economy crumbles into dust
We should attack Japan, lose the war
And let Japan take care of us.

The kids are saying 'Make Love, Not War',
and I'm beginning to think they're right.
For war costs millions of dollars a day,
and love--just a few bucks a night!

August Wilson’s Come and Gone
(Shared epitaphany with Mark)

Or
Broken Fences
(Kudos to Craig)

Or
No Light in August
(Ibid.)

Or
No Trains Running
(Props to Mark)

Or
Pittsburgh Re-Cycled
(Laudatories for rookie-to-be Joe)
August Wilson, the nation’s pre-eminent African-American playwright, has died at the age of 60. Why only 60? Because if he made it to 61, the Man might get twitchy. And the liver cancer didn’t help, either. In a career spent telling the story of black America, Wilson won 7 New York Drama Critic’s Circle Awards, a Tony and a Pulitzer for Fences in 1987 and another Pulitzer for The Piano Lesson in 1990. Radio Golf, the last chapter of Wilson’s epic 10-play cycle, each of which chronicled a decade of the 20th Century, opened last year, completing a story started in 1984 with Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.

Ha, Cunha mortata
Richard E. Cunha, director of several cult horror movies of the 1950s, has died at the age of 83. Armed with a typical budget of $65,000 and facing 6-day shooting schedules, Cuhna’s films were less than critical successes. His most beloved films were Giant from the Unknown, about a 400-year old conquistador terrorizing modern-day California, She Demons, about three men and a sexy women stranded on an island with Nazi criminals, a mad scientist and crazed beauty contest winners, Missle to the Moon, about a lunar expedition finding a sinister female presiding over a race of moon-women, and Frankenstein's Daughter, about Dr. Frankenstein’s crazy grandson creating strange monsters in modern-day Los Angeles.

Life is Difficult, Then You Die
(Props to James)
M. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist and self-help author, has taken the road traveled by everyone eventually, succumbing to pancreatic and liver cancer at the age of 69. Wilson is best remembered for his 1978 best seller The Road Less Traveled, a combination of New Age hokum, Christian blather and psychological claptrap. Eschewing the touchy-feeliness of most self-help books, Peck opened with the line, “Life is Difficult” and explained that self discovery is a long, arduous process with no easy answers. But buy this book and you’ll figure it out.