Putting it All Together

Lord, meet Byron

Or
One in Hole
(Props to Greg and Craig for the shared two-foot putt, as it were)

Or
Joining the really senior tour
(Props to Craig)
The Byron Nelson Classic* just became the Byron Nelson Memorial as the golfing legend wrapped up his final round at the age of 94, about 22 over par, according to the actuarial tables. Growing up in Texas with golf as the only sporting activity available to a man named Byron, he started caddying at the age of 12, befriending fellow caddy Ben Hogan. Imagine the no-talent duffers whose bags they had to lug through the Texas heat. His perfect form and growing confidence from several tournament wins – starting with the 1935 New Jersey Open - allowed him to produce an epic 1945 season, with 18 tournament wins, including 11 in a row, both records unlikely to be matched. He won those 11 in a row by an average of 6.67 strokes and finished second 7 more times, finishing with a then-record stroke average of 68.34. In his career he won 52 tournaments, still No. 6 on the PGA Tour career list despite retiring from full-time play at the age of 34 because he wanted to spend more time at the ranch that had been his motivation for winning. Among his totals – two Masters green jackets, two PGA Championships and a United States Open title. With all the real athletes serving in World War II, Nelson was also named AP male athlete of the year in 1944 and 1945. In retirement, Nelson became of one of the game’s great ambassadors and gentlemen as a tutor, TV analyst and fixture at PGA
events.

* Yes, I know it is now the EDS Byron Nelson Championship, but I’m not seeing a dime of that
endorsement money, so screw them.

A shake-up on the leaderboard and a new top dog as 5 pooligans dig into this par fate. Greg’s Team Quincy is now in first for the first time since June 28, 2003. Other beneficiaries are Paul’s
Pushing Daisies (4th), Shawn’s Team One (6th), Matt (8th) and Mark’s Crafty
Nonagenarians (30th).

With a little over 2 months remaining, there are 6 entries one hit from being King of the Boot Hill and 9 more within two hits. Our next hit will tie the all-time record, and we are on pace for 37.5 total demises.

Prince Albert in a Box
His dad was a beloved TV icon and a Oscar-nominated actor. His Godfather was arguably the greatest Shakespearean actor of the 20th century. He… had a very talented father and godfather. Oh, and lung cancer. Edward Laurence Albert, son of Eddie Albert and godson of Laurence Olivier has died at the age of 55. Best known for his Golden Globe-winning role in
Butterflies are Free, more recently he was Mr. Collins on The Power Rangers. Other roles included Daddy, in “Daddy Can’t Read,” cannon fodder in “Midway,” pollen fodder in “Killer Bees” and Brian, guiding survivors to safety in Irwin Allen’s “When Time Ran Out,” also known as “The Day the World Ended,” also known as “Earth’s Final Fury,” also known as, “Haven’t I
Already Seen this Crap Like Nine Times?”

Would a Rose by Any Other Name Still Smell Bad When it Died?
Iva Toguri D'Aquino, convicted and pardoned as WWII’s ''Tokyo Rose,'' has died at the age of 90. Anti-American transmissions intended to demoralize soldiers in the Pacific Theater were delivered by a female broadcaster dubbed Toyko Rose. Her identity was not known until U.S. prosecutors pressured “witnesses” to lie about Toguri, a native American, born to immigrant parents who was visiting relatives in Japan when the war broke out and was trapped behind enemy lines, so to speak. She was convicted of treason in 1949, but pardoned by Gerald Ford in 1977 in part because of new evidence about the coerced testimony and in part because she was the first woman he met that year that did not try to shoot him.

He had an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Gray and White Carcinoma
That metastasized and killed him today. OK, Sept. 6, but that doesn’t really go with the song, now does it? Paul Vance, songwriter of “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini,” has died of lung cancer at the age of 68. A number 1 hit for Brian Hyland in 1960, the song capitalized on the bikini craze and has been featured in movies and commercials ever since. He
also wrote “Catch a Falling Star,” a No. 1 hit for Perry Como in 1958.