This Bird Has Flown
(Props to Mark)
Claudia Alta Taylor Johnson – call name Lady Bird –inspiration for Hank Hill’s beloved bloodhound and the architect of the JFK assassination, has died at the age of 94. Lady Bird was a king maker, taking $10,000 from her family’s estate to bankroll her husband Lyndon Baines Johnson’s early political career, softening his public appearance and tone in political disputes, then when she saw the prospects of his career ending within sight of the brass ring when JFK had discussed kicking him off the ticket, she drew on her family’s connections within the CIA and Mafia to knock off the 35th president. Her reward: the Highway Beautification Act, which precluded her and her daughters from driving in convertibles. Ironically, despite her act of treason, Lady Bird was one of the longest standing drains on the national coffers, enjoying Secret Service protection longer than anyone in history – 44 years, including her 34 years as First Widow, the longest period in history.
Fourteen Pooligans had been bird-dogging for at least a year, including Mark, whose Beltway Boneyard IV: Foreign Exchange retains first, Nancy, who holds second, Jenni takes 8th, Craig’s the Killer’s Greatest Hits (9th), Monty’s D.C. Dead (13th), Michelle’s Death in the Afternoon (21st), Mike’s Academic Squad (26th), My They Are Become Death (27th), Michelle (29th), Jen(30th), Paul’s Pushing Daisies (30th), and Lauren, Warren’s List 2 and Dawn’s Chris’ Cardinal Rule (45th). Not following the rule: Joy and James, who gave up on the old girl after 2006.
Lady Bird was the most frequent pick in GHI history, appearing on 54 lists, and with her death there are only 10 remaining who have been picked in each of our 6 years. We’ve also notched 97 cumulative hits this year, our best showing ever. In previous news that I’ve been ignoring…
Yakety Sax – Don’t Talk Back
Or
This Boots was Made for Burying
Boots Randolph, the man best known for Yakety Sax, the score for the Benny Hill staple show ending of Benny, the old guy holding a wiz, and the babes in garters, habits, nurses’ uniforms, etc in a sped-up foot chase on a course designed by Billy from Family Circle, has died at the age of 80.
Two Thumbs Six Feet Down
Joe Siegel, film critic on Good Morning, America, has died at the age of 63. Shamelessly parroting The Today Show’s Gene Shalit, Siegel adopted the bushy mustache and pithy approach to selecting which of the bloated celluloid Hollywood monstrosities he would favor.
Shagging Flies
Shag Crawford, a NL umpire for two decades, died Wednesday as an unscheduled part of the Major League All-Star Game festivities. Crawford was the father of 30-year veteran umpire Jerry Crawford and 30-year NBA referee Joey Crawford, so you’ve got to figure nobody took a leak in that house without permission. Shag Crawford umpired the first game in Veterans Stadium history and was brought back for the closing ceremonies, along with his son, where, in true Philly style, they got booed, before the crowd gave way with applause.
Fashionably Late
Liz Claiborne, founder of the titular fashion empire, died at the age of 78. Seriously, am I the only one who thought this was a brand name and not a real person?
Drifting Away
Bill Pinkney, the last survivor of the original members of the musical group The Drifters, died at the age of 81. Pinkey and the other founding members were ground up in the Motown machine and were fired and replaced with the singers who recorded the Drifters’ songs you’ve actually heard of, like Fools Fall in Love, Under the Boardwalk, There Goes by Baby and On Broadway.
Rocky Road
Ernie Driscoll, the man responsible for Stroker Ace, The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing, Gator, Hooper and Sharkey’s Machine, has died at the age of 75. The former quarterback at North Carolina State was playing against a Florida State squad with a cornerback named Buddy Reynolds in 1957. Wide receiver Dick Christy ran out of bounds, went behind the Florida State bench and then returned to the field, catching a pass from Driscoll in stride and scoring the only points of the game. A confused Reynolds was left on the field, then got screamed at by coach Ted Nugent and left the Gators for good, packing up and moving to Hollywood with a new name, Burt.
The Fat Lady’s Done Singing
Beverly Sills, America’s opera star of the 1960s and 1970s, has died at the age of 78. She, um, sang some stuff in other languages that people seemed to like, and then she stopped.
Bought the Farm
(Kudos to Nancy)
Bob Evans, Sausage King of Sugar Ridge, Ohio, has died at the age of 89. Evans eschewed the old maxim that sausage had to be made from the leftovers after carving other meat products, then founded a chain of restaurants to serve it.
Claudia Alta Taylor Johnson – call name Lady Bird –inspiration for Hank Hill’s beloved bloodhound and the architect of the JFK assassination, has died at the age of 94. Lady Bird was a king maker, taking $10,000 from her family’s estate to bankroll her husband Lyndon Baines Johnson’s early political career, softening his public appearance and tone in political disputes, then when she saw the prospects of his career ending within sight of the brass ring when JFK had discussed kicking him off the ticket, she drew on her family’s connections within the CIA and Mafia to knock off the 35th president. Her reward: the Highway Beautification Act, which precluded her and her daughters from driving in convertibles. Ironically, despite her act of treason, Lady Bird was one of the longest standing drains on the national coffers, enjoying Secret Service protection longer than anyone in history – 44 years, including her 34 years as First Widow, the longest period in history.
Fourteen Pooligans had been bird-dogging for at least a year, including Mark, whose Beltway Boneyard IV: Foreign Exchange retains first, Nancy, who holds second, Jenni takes 8th, Craig’s the Killer’s Greatest Hits (9th), Monty’s D.C. Dead (13th), Michelle’s Death in the Afternoon (21st), Mike’s Academic Squad (26th), My They Are Become Death (27th), Michelle (29th), Jen(30th), Paul’s Pushing Daisies (30th), and Lauren, Warren’s List 2 and Dawn’s Chris’ Cardinal Rule (45th). Not following the rule: Joy and James, who gave up on the old girl after 2006.
Lady Bird was the most frequent pick in GHI history, appearing on 54 lists, and with her death there are only 10 remaining who have been picked in each of our 6 years. We’ve also notched 97 cumulative hits this year, our best showing ever. In previous news that I’ve been ignoring…
Yakety Sax – Don’t Talk Back
Or
This Boots was Made for Burying
Boots Randolph, the man best known for Yakety Sax, the score for the Benny Hill staple show ending of Benny, the old guy holding a wiz, and the babes in garters, habits, nurses’ uniforms, etc in a sped-up foot chase on a course designed by Billy from Family Circle, has died at the age of 80.
Two Thumbs Six Feet Down
Joe Siegel, film critic on Good Morning, America, has died at the age of 63. Shamelessly parroting The Today Show’s Gene Shalit, Siegel adopted the bushy mustache and pithy approach to selecting which of the bloated celluloid Hollywood monstrosities he would favor.
Shagging Flies
Shag Crawford, a NL umpire for two decades, died Wednesday as an unscheduled part of the Major League All-Star Game festivities. Crawford was the father of 30-year veteran umpire Jerry Crawford and 30-year NBA referee Joey Crawford, so you’ve got to figure nobody took a leak in that house without permission. Shag Crawford umpired the first game in Veterans Stadium history and was brought back for the closing ceremonies, along with his son, where, in true Philly style, they got booed, before the crowd gave way with applause.
Fashionably Late
Liz Claiborne, founder of the titular fashion empire, died at the age of 78. Seriously, am I the only one who thought this was a brand name and not a real person?
Drifting Away
Bill Pinkney, the last survivor of the original members of the musical group The Drifters, died at the age of 81. Pinkey and the other founding members were ground up in the Motown machine and were fired and replaced with the singers who recorded the Drifters’ songs you’ve actually heard of, like Fools Fall in Love, Under the Boardwalk, There Goes by Baby and On Broadway.
Rocky Road
Ernie Driscoll, the man responsible for Stroker Ace, The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing, Gator, Hooper and Sharkey’s Machine, has died at the age of 75. The former quarterback at North Carolina State was playing against a Florida State squad with a cornerback named Buddy Reynolds in 1957. Wide receiver Dick Christy ran out of bounds, went behind the Florida State bench and then returned to the field, catching a pass from Driscoll in stride and scoring the only points of the game. A confused Reynolds was left on the field, then got screamed at by coach Ted Nugent and left the Gators for good, packing up and moving to Hollywood with a new name, Burt.
The Fat Lady’s Done Singing
Beverly Sills, America’s opera star of the 1960s and 1970s, has died at the age of 78. She, um, sang some stuff in other languages that people seemed to like, and then she stopped.
Bought the Farm
(Kudos to Nancy)
Bob Evans, Sausage King of Sugar Ridge, Ohio, has died at the age of 89. Evans eschewed the old maxim that sausage had to be made from the leftovers after carving other meat products, then founded a chain of restaurants to serve it.
posted by The Grim Reaper at 4:17 PM
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