The Pollin Weed Feeder Classic

Or
Bullet Bites It
(Props to Jon)

Or
Number One With A, Um, Wizard
(Huzzah for Joe)

Or
Abe Stinkin'
(Additional accolades for Joe)
Abe Pollin, the only man to fire Michael Jordan, has died at the age of 85 of progressive supranuclear palsy. Until this afternoon the longest tenured NBA owner, Pollin bought the Baltimore Bullets in 1964, moving them to the nation’s capital when the Capital Centre was completed, then building them a new home in 1997 with his own money, rather than holding a financially destitute city hostage as his fellow owners were doing around the country. Thinking that Washingtonians would rather be reminded of the Ku Klux Klan and Nazis than the daily gun violence, he renamed the team Wizards and offered up a stylized swastika with a hat as a logo that same year. Other highlights of his tenure included the 1978 NBA Championship, the first championship for the district in 36 years and a testy co-ownership with Jordan and his ill-advised second comeback. Pollin formerly owned the NHL’s Capitals, seeing them go from awful to never quite good enough, and the WNBA’s Mysticks.