The Not So Sweet Smell of Curtis

Or
Would Settle for Room Temperature at This Point

Or
May the Schwartz Be With You
(Props to Monty)

Or
I Love You, Spartacus
(Additional accolades to Monty)

Or
OH at the Pearly Gates: "Yondah Lies Da Castle of my Heavenly Foddah."
(Unapologetically lifted from the Facebook update of TV’s Frank [Frank Conniff])
Tony Curtis, best remembered for The Producers-esque Lobster Man from Mars, has died at 85 of cardiac arrest. The pretty boy actor scored an Oscar nomination as Joker Jackson, racist prisoner with a heart of gold in The Defiant Ones, but is best remembered as the It’s Just Pat of his day, with sexually ambiguous roles in Spartacus as the apple of Laurence Olivier’s eye, in Some Like it Hot as the be-drag-gled Valentine’s Day Massacre spectating musician with the better ass than Marilyn Monroe, in Goodbye Charlie as a man attracted to a mysterious blond who turns out to be the reincarnation of his male best friend, and in the Great Race, as The Great Leslie. Other roles included Burt Lancaster’s twisted Broadway columnist J. J. Hunsecker in Sweet Smell of Success, Kirk Douglas’ boat mate in The Vikings, serial killer Albert DeSalvo in the comically exploitative The Boston Strangler in a last-ditch attempt at a serious career, a playboy vigilante opposite Roger Moore in The Persuaders!, the excruciating Mae West comeback Sextette and filling in on the trip to Japan when both Walter Matthau and William Devane had had enough of the Bad News Bears. While stockpiling conquests like Monroe, Natalie Wood and Yvonne DeCarlo, plus countless starlets whose names he couldn’t remember, Curtis also picked up 6 wives, most notably Janet Leigh, with whom he sired Jamie Lee Curtis.