No Time for Sargent

Or
Peace Corpse

Or
Sargent Slaughtered
R. Sargent Shriver, the bitch of two generations of California and Massachusetts politicians, has died of complications of Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 95. The graduate of Yale and Yale Law won a Purple Heart in the Navy, then worked as an editor at Newsweek, where he met Eunice Kennedy. Joe Kennedy then hired him to run Merchandise Mart, the world’s largest commercial building, in Chicago, and after a 7-year courtship, Shriver married Eunice, ceding control of his life to the Kennedys. Although the family thwarted his hopes to run for governor of Illinois in 1960 and VP in 1964 and 1968 to focus on other priorities, brother-in-law Jack let him clothe the world’s unwashed as the founding director of the Peace Corps in 1961. He pissed off the family by sticking with Lyndon Johnson’s administration, as director of the Office of Economic Opportunity, the lead on Johnson’s war on poverty through programs like Head Start and Job Corps, then as ambassador to France. Somehow being a hippie freak who likes poor people and the French did not endear him to the American people and he had a front row seat to the Richard Nixon ass kicking as the 1972 Democratic VP candidate, having replaced Crazy Tom Eagleton as George McGovern’s running mate. A 1976 presidential campaign was crushed early by the Carter Charisma Crusade, and he had settled into a retirement as an elder statesman until daughter Maria brought home a huge pile of German sausage that would eventually become the state’s governor. Eager to forget having Arnold Schwarzenegger as a son-in-law, Shriver developed Alzheimer’s Disease, leading Maria to heap on the humiliation with the book “What’s Happening to Grandpa?,” and the documentary, “Grandpa, Do You Know Who I Am?”