Sea Monkeys in the Missed

or
Sea Monkey See, Sea Monkey Die
Harold von Braunhut, a carnival barker on the back pages of comic books for decades, best known for creating the demand for Sea Monkeys, died in November. Apparently, he was found unconscious and then drowned when he was submerged in water in an attempt to revive him. Much like Sea Monkeys, he floated on the top of the tank for a month before anyone noticed. The Dian Fossey of brine shrimp was 77, which is approximately 28,105 times the life span of any Sea Monkeys I ever had. The holder of 195 patents, Braunhut's other creations included X-Ray Specs, Hair-Raising Monsters, Crazy Crabs, and the Invisible Goldfish, which came with care instructions and the guarantee that you would never see them, as he played on the stupidity of America's youth with a verve that P.T. Barnum would admire. However his legacy will always be convincing children that dehydrated fish food could develop a caste system that culminated in a royal family.