And Then There’s Morgue

(An epitaphany shared with Monty)

Or
And Then There's Mowed
(Kudos to Joe)

Or
And Dead There's Maude
(Props to Phil)
Female impersonator Bea Arthur, best remembered as the singing bartender from The Star Wars Holiday Special, has died at the age of somewhere between 40 and the death. In her 50 year career, said that she did everything but rodeo and porno, for which fans of the equine and the supine… and anyone with eyes… can be grateful. The manly, acid-tongued sitcom star spent her career as a sex symbol for the forgotten, first as Maude, the swinging cousin of Edith Bunker, who at 47 needed an abortion, 2 months before Roe v. Wade made it legal nationwide, and then helped put the sex in sexagenarian as one of the Golden Girls showing off their golden gates to any continent Miami man with his own hair. Arthur proved to be less delightfully unlovable than John Cleese in the Fawlty Towers adaptation Amanda’s. In addition to her two Emmys, one each for Maude and Dorothy, she won the Tony in 1966 as Vera Charles, Angela Lansbury’s drunken best friend in Mame. She recreated the role in the comically awful screen version opposite Lucille Ball. Other roles included Dewey’s babysitter on Malcolm in the Middle, playing Peter Griffin in Rolling Courage: The Joe Swanson Story, and highlighting the Comedy Central roast of Pamela Anderson, reading excerpts about receiving sodomy advice from Anderson’s Star: The Novel.