Behind the Green Grass

(Props to Joe)

Or

99 44/100% Dead

(Further fanfare for Joe)

Marilyn Chambers, the best advertisement ever for Ivory Snow, has died at the age of 56. No cause of death has been identified, but she was known to have survived several thousand strokes. After some time as a model, she got a small part in The Owl and the Pussycat, which gave her an insatiable appetite for acting. She would see a lot more birds and kitties, but there would be no more small parts in her career. She was a pioneer, introducing the era of pube-free porn as one of the first actresses to go hairless, the better to show off her lady bits. She enjoyed widespread fame with her first feature, Behind the Green Door, as a wholesome woman kidnapped into an Eyes Wide Shut-like party, without the midget. She thought this might open the door for mainstream films, a tragic misuse of her lack of a gag reflex, but the only doors that getting passed around on-screen like a doobie in the parking lot at a Grateful Dead concert opened were on the backs of vans. She was never able to penetrate Hollywood the same way she got… never mind. In an ironic twist, she was found naked and alone in a mobile home, the same way most of her fans enjoyed her career.