The KISS Army Mourns - Oh, Wait

(Props to Monty)

Or
Cheer Up, Sleepy Jean
(Additional accolades for Monty)

Or
Lady Luck Craps Out
(Fanfare for Peter)

Or
Something Rotting in the State of Denmark
(More merit for Peter)

Or
No, Not Him, the Actress
(Clarifications from Peter)
Jean Simmons, a mid-century screen star who has been largely forgotten, has died of lung cancer at the age of 80. The English actress graced the covers of Time and Life before she was 20 and was cast alongside such leading men as Laurence Oliver, Richard Burton and Marlon Brando. She may be best remembered as the revival preacher who lusts after Burt Lancaster’s titular con man in Elmer Gantry, and her impure thoughts earn her a fiery death in a tent show conflagration. Also in 1960, she played the slave girl who fell in love with Spartacus. According to legend, a young Chaim Witz was so entranced with the actress, he honored her with his stage name, Gene Simmons. Early stage appearances of KISS as 4 men in ballgowns were not well-received, and they adopted their more familiar post-apocalyptic kabuki appearance soon thereafter.