No Longer in Charge

Or
I’m in the Ground

Or
Chief of Staph
General Alexander M. Haig Jr., the walking Constitutional crisis, has died of a staphylococcal infection at the age of 85. In the hours after the assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan on March 30, 1981, the then-Secretary of State declared “I am in control here, in the White House,” in a shaky, disturbing press conference, ignoring the Speaker of the House, the President pro tempore of the Senate, and, oh yeah, the Vice President. Course, overlooking George Bush was never a problem. At least that attempted coup was overt. As Richard Nixon’s chief of staff, Haig had planned the assassination of Vice President Spiro Agnew if the VP had not resigned after being charged with accepting bribes. That cleared the way for Haig to run the White House and the transition during the final months of the Nixon administration while the embattled president sulked and Jerry Ford golfed. Fearing for his own safety, as well as being stunned by Haig’s ability to orchestrate a cover paramilitary campaign in Central America, heighten tensions with the Soviet Union and frighten U.S. allies throughout Europe in just 18 months, Reagan dismissed Haig from the Cabinet in July 1982. Haig’s attempt to enter the White House through the front door in 1988 was laughable, as he almost got doubled up by Pierre DuPont in the Iowa caucus, before withdrawing quietly. In addition to his political ambitions, Haig enjoyed a meteoric rise in the military, having learned from such luminaries as General Douglas MacArthur, serving on his staff during the Korean War, Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, serving as his military assistant during the Vietnam War, and General William Westmoreland, who awarded him the Distinguished Service Cross following the battle of Ap Gu. Haig entered the Nixon White House in 1969, quickly elevating from colonel to 4-star general by 1974, when he left the White House to become Supreme Allied Commander Europe.