Post Mortem

(Props to Monty)

Or
So, what's the proper etiquette for sending a sympathy card to an etiquette expert?
(More Merit for Monty)
Elizabeth Post, who kept up the family tradition of making people feel bad about not knowing which fork to use when eating pork and beans out of a can, has died at the age of 89. Elizabeth was the granddaughter-in-law of the genesis of genuflection, the premiere purveyor of polite, the original arbiter of appropriate, Emily Post, an inherited her gig as director of The Emily Post Institute when no one else in the family could muster the same degree of smug self-righteousness. Elizabeth ran things for 30 years before retiring to be succeeded by her daughter-in-law, Peggy Post, who found an outlet for decades of passive-aggressive holiday dinners with stuffing that was a bit too salty, gravy that lacked… something, and napkins that were not perpendicular to the centerpiece. Elizabeth Post also loved fishing, and landed the largest tarpon caught by a woman in the United States, reeling it in with her pinky extended.