Getty ‘R Done

J. Paul Getty III, apple well removed from the tree, has been reunited with his ear at the age of 54. The grandson of the oil man who was once the richest man in the world was living a clichéd bohemian life frequenting nightclubs, selling paintings and homemade jewelry and acting as an extra in movies when he was kidnapped at the age of 16 in 1973 by Italian gangsters and held for $17 million ransom. After the family refused to pay after 3 months, his severed ear was sent to a newspaper. With the boy damaged, the old financial wizard was able to negotiate the ransom down to $3 million, of which he contributed $2.2 million, the most his accountants said would be tax deductible, then loaned the rest to his son at 4% interest, so essentially he made a profit on his own grandson’s kidnapping. And when he called to thank him for paying the ransom, Grandpa didn’t take the call. After learning his family viewed him with the same regard as one has for a dented can of tomato soup, he fell heavy for alcohol and drugs, which led to a drug overdose that caused a stroke that left him paralyzed, unable to speak and partially blind. So apparently, you can be too rich.