Houston, You Have… Had… a Problem

Or
No Longer Waiting to Exhale
(Monty)

Or
Always Was a Little Shorter Than She Planned
Whitney Houston, best remembered for her covers of songs by Dolly Parton and Francis Scott Key, has died of a drug overdose at the age of 48. The multi-platinum singer was one of America’s great soul/R&B singers, serving as a musical bridge from Tina Turner to Rihanna, before deciding that “Crack is whack.” And by “whack” she meant the greatest thing since sliced heroin. By the mid-1990s her drug abuse was nearly out of control, as shown by her decision to star in The Bodyguard opposite Kevin Costner, who advised her not to take acting lessons, because he hadn’t, and look how great he turned out. As her drug-addled foibles mounted, she was seen less in Billboard, more in National Enquirer. She even got fired by the Academy Awards, and those people thought Rob Lowe dancing with Snow White was a good idea. At the same time, her volatile marriage to Bobby Brown grew rockier, and the pair realized the best place to work things out was in the white-hot spotlight of a reality show “Being Bobby Brown.” They divorced in 2007, and in the settlement, he apparently got her voice, as her once powerful pipes seemed frayed in her concert appearances. She took a shot at a comeback in 2009 with her I Look to You album and world tour, but her inability to hit or hold a note had fans saying “I Look to Exit” about half way through her set despite dropping $150 a ticket. In the end, she couldn’t even score a role in a Tyler Perry movie.