Can't We All Just Get an Autopsy?

(Props to Monty)

Or

Death Beats Rodney King

(More Monty)

Or

A Pool of Jurors Found for Him. Unfortunately, He Found the Pool.

(Additional accolades for Monty)
Rodney King, who found the hard way that not all LA cops are Frank Gannons and Joe Fridays, was found at the bottom of a pool at the age of 47. On March 3, 1991, King was driving erratically with a blood alcohol of 0.19, twice the legal limit, when he decided not to pull over, fearing his drunken state would violate his parole, instead opting to leave the freeway and drive through residential neighborhoods at up to 80 mph. When he was finally pulled over, he resisted, throwing two officers off his back and hitting another in the chest. He was shown the folly of his ways by 7 well-meaning members of the LAPD, their batons and a taser. Footage of the beating went viral, back when that meant being shown ad nauseum on CNN and pundits gave the LAPD the same treatment they had given Mr. King. Four officers were eventually tried for excessive force, where a jury of their peers, tired of molly-coddling drunk drivers, acquitted 3 and were hung on the 4th. The citizenry of Los Angeles reacted with typical aplomb: rioting, arson, assault and looting to defend King’s honor resulted in 53 deaths, more than 2,000 injuries, 7,000 fires and $1 billion in financial losses.