So Long, Farewell, auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye

(Kudos to Monty)

Or

How Do You Bury a Corpse Like Maria?

(More merit for Monty)

Maria Agatha Franziska Gobertina von Trapp, the last of those swinging Austrians who lit out steps ahead of the Nazis after refusing to play at Hitler’s birthday party, has died at the age of 99. The Von Trapp family’s adventures, chronicled by Maria’s stepmother, also Maria von Trapp, were the basis for The Sound of Music, the most tedious movie of all time and one of the worst live TV specials ever. The younger Maria was rechristened Louisa for the movie for clarity. The von Trapps traveled the world with their infernal racket before settling in Vermont, where they gave lessons and toured through 1955, when the world’s population had pretty much had enough.