Can You Shut Up?

Or 

Can We Talk? Not So Much.

Joan Rivers, whose shrill one-note derivative act that stole liberally from Don Rickles, Rodney Dangerfield and Phyllis Diller, but was supposedly original because unlike the others she didn’t have a penis, has died at the age of 81, ironically following surgery on one of her few remaining original parts. In more recent years, she combined two of the most tedious things known to man, talking about clothing and her daughter Melissa, to attack celebrities’ sartorial choices on the red carpet. Rivers came to national acclaim through appearances on The Tonight Show, and eventually became the permanent substitute host for Johnny Carson’s numerous vacations. She decided to cross one of the most powerful men in Hollywood to get her own show on the fledgling Fox network, which when she debuted was still 9 months from having two whole days of a broadcast schedule that would be anchored by The New Adventures of Beans Baxter. She didn’t appear again on The Tonight Show for almost 30 years and never spoke with Carson again. With many celebrities scared out of appearing by Carson and a number of problems with affiliates, Rivers was fired after 8 months. This left her with more time to spend at home, and within 3 months, her husband, Edgar Rosenberg, killed himself.