Dead Wing

Or

Gordie Not

Or

And Howe

(Kudos to Monty)

Or

Brass Bone-anza 

(Props to Don)

Gordie Howe, who was a better hockey player at 52 than 99% of the players who’ve ever laced them up in the NHL, has died at the age of 88, delaying his next comeback. The only athlete whose nickname unironically encompassed an entire sport (though as Don observed, now that his Wings are broken, he may be better known as Mister Mister Hockey), Howe was the best all-around player in NHL history. He set records for seasons, goals, points, assists and for records set en route to 20 straight Top 5 scoring seasons, 4 Stanley Cup championships, 23 All-Star Games, and 6 Hart trophies as league MVP. After a brief retirement and his induction into the Hockey Hall of Fame, he spent 6 seasons with his sons Marty and Mark with the World Hockey Association’s Houston Aeros and New England Whalers, winning 2 Avco Cups and notching 2 100-point seasons in his mid-40s. After the WHA-NHL merger, he played one more season with the Whalers, notching 41 more points at the age of 52, then skated 1 short shift with the IHL’s Detroit Vipers at the age of 69 in 1997 to record his 6th decade of professional hockey. When not lighting the lamp, Howe was probably hitting someone, as unlike other stars, he had no issues with the physical aspects of the game, earning 1685 minutes in box, where he presumably did not feel shame. Howe was further immortalized as the namesake of the Gordie Howe hat trick – a goal, an assist and a fight in the same game – despite only doing it twice himself as he didn’t find a lot of takers for fisticuff action. Despite his status as one of the game’s all-time greats, the Red Wings took advantage of his trusting nature and paid him relative peanuts – after a career high 103-point season, he found he was the third-highest paid player on the team. When this became known, his linemate Ted Lindsay started the campaign that eventually led to the NHL Players’ Association.