Vatican Vacancy

Or
Better prelate than never

Or
Amen to That

Or
Holy See You Later

Or
End of Rope for Pope(Kudos to Dead Pool observer Jon)

Or
The Emissary's new robe
(Courtesy of Michelle)

Or
Pole’s Vault(Props to Mark)

Or
Recalled to the Head Office
(Also snaps to Mark)
Bang! Bang! Camerlengo’s silver hammer came down upon his head
Clang! Clang! Camerlengo’s silver hammer made sure that he was dead

With that dignified ceremony, Pope John Paul II’s death was confirmed at the age of 84. The jet setting pontiff spread his message across 120 countries during his 27 years, and spent about 10% of his papacy outside the Vatican, including a trip to his native Poland to celebrate Mass with 1 million people. His support of the Solidarity movement was credited with helping bring a bloodless end to communist rule. In recent years, the teflon pontiff increasingly seemed like the untouchable leader of the gang that couldn’t pray straight, as the world’s favorite anachronism consistently came down with decisions out of step with the rest of the world, including many members of the Catholic Church. John Paul II had a back to basics approach that taught that God loves all His children. Unless they are gay. Or are women, who He loves a little less, so they are not entitled to equal pay to men or equal positions within the church and besides, women’s equality tears down the family and makes gay marriage acceptable. The Catholic Church also came down harder on The Da Vinci Code than it did the ethnic cleansing massacres in Africa and has more objections to consensual sex between adults than it did the sex scandals that have rocked the church in the United States, Ireland, Australia, Austria and the Phillipines. Meat on Friday? You will burn in hell. Sex with altar boys? Here’s your relocation orders. But with his strong faith and personal charm, JPII was able to stay above the fray, with millions feeling a personal connection after seeing him ride past in the Popemobile.