Lord of the Flies

Lord Alfred Hayes, the greatest wrestler ever to come out of the United Kingdom and a fixture as a U.S. broadcaster in the 1980s and ‘90s, has died at the age of 77. Hayes added an incongruous somewhat refined accent to the sounds of fat man slapping. Wrestling in the 1960s and 1970s as “Judo” Al Hayes, he was a notable villain and then a baddie manager of such talents as Nikolai Volkoff, Billy Robinson, Chris Markoff, Masked Superstar and Sgt. Slaughter. He then signed on with Vince McMahon and the WWF and upped the Britishyness of his act. He was the straight man in a number of skits on various WWF programs, appearing in a tuxedo and wannabe Alistair Cooke diction while surrounded by a parade of feather-boaed, masked and painted fat men. And at the end of every episode, you'd hear the snooty royalist tones of Lord Alfred say...

PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATION PAID FOR BY THE FOLLOWING!

Then Lord Alfred would list the sponsors for this week's program, all of them inappropriate in his proper British accent...

Wrestlemania 64...from Ah-KLAIM!

Coty Wild Musk...the ESSENCE...of an-EEE-mal....ATTRACTION!

Coty Wild Musk...easy to WEAH...haaaahd to ree-SIST!

(Partially stolen shamelessly from James, who alerted us to the vacant Lordship)