Me Chris, Him Dead

Or
Vine and Dandy
Bruce Bennett, who traded a shot put for a loincloth, has died at the age of 100. Born Herman Brix, he set a world record in the shot put at the 1928 Olympics. Unfortunately, he was an even better motivational speaker then an athlete, as his pep talk to teammate John Kuck inspired him to go out and break Brix’s new record and claim the gold medal, while Brix held on to the silver. Following his playing days, he added an air of civility to Tarzan in 1935’s The New Adventures of Tarzan, introducing himself to explorers not with “Me Tarzan,” but “Why, yes, I’m Tarzan, also known as Lord Greystoke. How may I help you?” Although Edgar Rice Burroughs felt he was the closest to the literary character he created, moviegoers preferred their Tarzans monosyllabic, and after Brix appeared in two more unsuccessful jungle pics, grunting was de rigueur for future vine-hanging commuters. Afraid of being typecast, Brix became Bennett and appeared in more than 100 films, often as a leading man in Gary Cooper-lite roles. Better-remembered roles included the solitary prospector who tries to horn in on The Treasure of the Sierra Madre before getting offed by banditos, who narrowly beat Humphrey Bogart to the honors, Joan Crawford’s ex-husband in Mildred Pierce, and an underhanded Nazi running afoul of Bogart again in Sahara.

Three choosy Pooligans knew Brix was for dead and score 6.6666667 points apiece: Shawn’s Team One - Old and Kirsti’s You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby (circa Nineteen Aught Two) tie for 8th and Monty’s Dead? No, Acting takes 21st.