If it Ain’t Brooke, Don’t Bury It
Or
Going for Brooke
Or
Brooke Stops Babbling
(Props to Michelle)
Brooke Astor, who went from Bailey, Banks and Biddle to smelly, rank and dog piddle, has died (finally) at the age of 105. One of the last holdovers of the old moneyed families of New York, the society matron spent the last 50 years giving away the fortune of third husband Vincent Astor, heir to the fur and real estate fortune of Titanic victim John Jacob Astor. Rather than hoard her riches, she doted both on her pet art projects, as well as the less fortunate of the Big Apple, which would be pretty much anyone stuck living in that cesspool. She truly was a woman of the people, visiting many of the tenements the Astor Foundation supported in furs while dripping with jewelry. Her advancing years had taken her from the limelight until last year, when her grandson charged his father with pillaging the family fortune while Brooke slept in a tattered nightgown as the first millionaire to sleep on a urine-soaked couch since Howard Hughes. In keeping with one of her favorite sayings, “Money is like manure; it’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around,” Astor is to be cremated so she, too, can be spread around.
Fourteen Pooligans cash in on Astor, with Greg’s Team Quincy taking 2nd, Kirsti’s You’ve Got a Date with an Angel (of Death) moves into 7th, Holdout deadbeat Monty’s D.C. Dead assumes 9th, Mike’s Math Squad climbs into 10th, Jen slides into 11th, Shawn’s Team One – Oldest – leaps into 17th, doubling down on this one, Kirsti’s You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby (circa Nineteen Aught Two) is in 19th, Michelle’s Quick and the Dead is in 21st, my They Are Become Death is in 22nd, Michelle Dalton takes 23rd, Paul’s Pushing Up Daisies rallies to 24th, Steve is proud possessor of 29th, Mark’s Crafty – and Possibly Undead – Nonagenerians are in 38th and Dawn’s Chris Cardinal Rule squad holds fast at 39th.
Dubious decision-making by Jenni and Joe, both of home dropped the doddering doyenne after last year, because the second 104 years are cake.
With the hit we tied last year’s record with 37 dead with 11 weeks to go. By appearing on 14 lists this year, Astor ties Lady Bird Johnson as the 3rd most prolific hit in GHI history, trailing only Ronald Reagan (18) and Pope John Paul II (16).
Going for Brooke
Or
Brooke Stops Babbling
(Props to Michelle)
Brooke Astor, who went from Bailey, Banks and Biddle to smelly, rank and dog piddle, has died (finally) at the age of 105. One of the last holdovers of the old moneyed families of New York, the society matron spent the last 50 years giving away the fortune of third husband Vincent Astor, heir to the fur and real estate fortune of Titanic victim John Jacob Astor. Rather than hoard her riches, she doted both on her pet art projects, as well as the less fortunate of the Big Apple, which would be pretty much anyone stuck living in that cesspool. She truly was a woman of the people, visiting many of the tenements the Astor Foundation supported in furs while dripping with jewelry. Her advancing years had taken her from the limelight until last year, when her grandson charged his father with pillaging the family fortune while Brooke slept in a tattered nightgown as the first millionaire to sleep on a urine-soaked couch since Howard Hughes. In keeping with one of her favorite sayings, “Money is like manure; it’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around,” Astor is to be cremated so she, too, can be spread around.
Fourteen Pooligans cash in on Astor, with Greg’s Team Quincy taking 2nd, Kirsti’s You’ve Got a Date with an Angel (of Death) moves into 7th, Holdout deadbeat Monty’s D.C. Dead assumes 9th, Mike’s Math Squad climbs into 10th, Jen slides into 11th, Shawn’s Team One – Oldest – leaps into 17th, doubling down on this one, Kirsti’s You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby (circa Nineteen Aught Two) is in 19th, Michelle’s Quick and the Dead is in 21st, my They Are Become Death is in 22nd, Michelle Dalton takes 23rd, Paul’s Pushing Up Daisies rallies to 24th, Steve is proud possessor of 29th, Mark’s Crafty – and Possibly Undead – Nonagenerians are in 38th and Dawn’s Chris Cardinal Rule squad holds fast at 39th.
Dubious decision-making by Jenni and Joe, both of home dropped the doddering doyenne after last year, because the second 104 years are cake.
With the hit we tied last year’s record with 37 dead with 11 weeks to go. By appearing on 14 lists this year, Astor ties Lady Bird Johnson as the 3rd most prolific hit in GHI history, trailing only Ronald Reagan (18) and Pope John Paul II (16).
Labels: Brooke Astor
posted by The Grim Reaper at 9:15 PM
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