Ditch man

(Props to Don)

But Wait There’s More… Or, Maybe Not

Or

The Only Things He’s Pushing Are Daisies

(Additional accolades for Don)

Or

Order One Coffin, and We’ll Double Your Order Free (Just Pay Shipping)

(Kudos to Warren)

Or

Pitch Out

Or

Kaboom! Goes the Dynamite

Or

No Longer Powered by the Air We Breath

Billy Mays, the modern snake oil salesman who screamed at American because of their unclean homes, has died at the age of 50. Apparently captivated by the avuncular huckster, millions of American’s duly sat and watched his infomercials, and advertising put-ons that would normally be subject to channel surfing or fast-forwarding on DVR became appointment viewing. As PT Barnum or HL Mencken once said, “You’ll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public,” and Mays actually had scored his own series on the Discovery Channel – Pitchmen. He got his start hawking the Washmatik on the Atlantic City Boardwalk, then got the promotion to the state fair/home show circuit convincing rubes of the need for vegetable choppers and cleaning products, before making the majors on The Home Shopping Network, loudly extolling the virtues of Orange Glo, OxiClean and Zorbeez, ShamWow’s inferior predecessor, all the while subliminally demonstrating the need for a tranquilizer gun.