Funeral Blanket Bingo

Or

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini

Or

M-I-C - See you in Hell...

Or

No Mo' Annette

(Props to Don)
Annette Funicello, the first Disney-created star, has died of complications from multiple sclerosis at the age of 70. Selected by Walt Disney himself while he was creepily watching children’s theater productions, Funicello quickly became one of the most popular Mouseketeers on the Mickey Mouse Club, receiving 6,000 letters a week, many of which today would serve as the basis for an episode of Criminal Minds. Once the ‘A’ and ‘E’ started working their way around to the sides of her sweater, she embarked on a singing career with the timeless classics “O Dio Mio,” “Tall Paul” and “Pineapple Princess,” laying the groundwork for future multitalented Mouseketeers Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Funicello went on to foster the chaste-est love ever with Frankie Avalon through a slew of Beach Party movies that were as great a contribution to cinema as her singing endeavors had been to music, and were scandalous in their shameless depiction of her uncovered navel over Walt’s objections.