O Brothers, Where Art Thou?

(An epitaphany shared with Monty)
Dr. Joyce Brothers, the psychologist with a pathological narcissist streak, has died at the age of 85. After obtaining her PhD in psychology from Columbia University, Brothers gained fame by becoming the only woman to claim the top prize on The $64,000 Pyramid by becoming a boxing expert through months of intensive research, a clear indication of obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Deciding that being on television was more enjoyable than listening to white folks whine about their depression, suppressed homosexuality, and confessions that they didn’t really like Ike, Brothers shifted the locus of her happiness outside of herself as she found work as a boxing commentator, TV psychologist, and appeared either as herself or as thinly veiled versions of herself in cameos on such shows as JAG, Felicity, ALF, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Match Game, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, CHiPs, The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, WKRP in Cincinnati and Pinky and the Brain. Brothers drew praise from fellow attention whores Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura Schlessinger, whose excuses for a career the real doctor made possible.