He Stopped Living Here Today

(An epitaphany shared with Monty)

Or

He Stopped Loving Everything Today

Or

Yabba Dabba Do the King is Gone and So are You

(Kudos to Michelle)

Or

Playing Possum

(Additional accolades for Michelle)

Or

He Don't Need a Rockin' Chair...But He Will Need a Casket!

(Plus more props for Michelle)
George Jones, who didn’t need to wear a cowboy hat to prove his bona fides, has died at the age of 81. Unlike modern acts, Jones only played both kinds of music, country and western, eschewing any attempts at cross-over success. Nicknamed Possum for his close-set eyes and pointed nose, then No Show Jones for the concerts he never showed up for while on his drug- and booze-fueled binges – the latter nickname later serving as his vanity license plate. Sometimes, not showing up would have been preferable, as when he got so plastered on booze and pills that he could only speak and perform concerts in a Donald Duck voice for days on end. Or the time it took him 83 takes to record White Lightning because he was drinking throughout the session. Or the time he drove his lawn mower 8 miles to a liquor store because his wife hid his car keys, a scene immortalized in song and music videos. Or the drunken fight with wife Tammy Wynette that left him in a straitjacket for 10 days. On the rare occasions he was sober, he was a star, as the Country Music Hall of Fame Hall of Famer recorded 14 #1 country hits, was named Male Vocalist of the Year 4 times, won 2 Grammys plus a Grammy Lifetime Achievement award and was named a Kennedy Center Honoree in 2008.