Tits Up, Doc?

Or

Physician Heal Thyself

Jean-Claude Duvalier, who dabbled in the sale of drugs and body parts while driving Haiti further into the depths of Third World backwardsness, has died of a heart attack at the age of 63. Calling himself Baby Doc to cash in on the finest tradition of Caribbean medical schools/surfing emporiums, at the age of 19 Duvalier inherited the biggest piece of shit island in the Western Hemisphere in 1971 upon the death of his father. Relations with the US improved significantly when Ronald Reagan took office, as an anti-Communist stance was enough to sweep any number of crimes under the table, including the torture of his own citizens and then selling their organs to rich folks who wanted to schedule transplants to avoid missing ski season. He fled the country in 1986, returning unannounced in 2011, where he was immediately arrested and put on trial for his numerous crimes. His death prevents the reconciliation the trial would have afforded the nation, allowing him to give one last “Fuck you,” to his countrymen.