Good Riyadh-ance

Or

So the imams gonna pray, pray, prayAnd the bloggers have no rights and get flayed, flayed, flayedAnd the women can’t drive, so they stay, stay, stayNow Saudi Arabia’s gonna sheikh, sheikh, sheikh
Sheikh it Off

Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, King of our woman-oppressing, terrorist-funding partner in peace Saudi Arabia, has died at the age of 90. King Abdullah was considered a progressive, tolerant head of state, despite Saudi Arabia being consistently being rated alongside North Korea and Turkmenistan in terms of civil and political liberty. In fact the last official act of his reign was approving the lashing of a blogger who had called for free speech. As there is no legal code, criminal “justice” still consists of judges’ interpretations of Islamic scripture, confessions secured through torture and then hands and feet being chopped off for theft, lashes for adultery and other “social” misdemeanors and while the world gapes in horror whenever ISIS beheads a prisoner, the Saudis average 90 a year for crimes as varied as sedition, carjacking, sorcery and drug smuggling. The head of the IMF referred to Abdullah as a strong, if discreet, advocate for women, as evidenced by his freeing women from the hassles of the road by ensuring Saudi Arabia remained the last country in the world where women are still not allowed to drive. Of course, given that women can’t leave the house, make a purchase, sign any legal document, agree to surgery, or take a class without the consent of either their husband or father, it’s not like they have a lot of reason to go anywhere anyway. When not oppressing his own people, the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques also turned a blind eye while millions of Saudi dollars filled the coffers of Al-Qaeda, et al, and the State Department referred to Saudi Arabia as a terrorist piggy bank in cables leaked by Edward Snowden.