The King and… Well, I Guess Just I

Or

Bangkok The Drum Slowly

Bhumibol Adulyadej, the grandson of Deborah Kerr’s dancing partner in the King and I, has died at the age of 88 after a decade of poor health. In 1927, with his father enrolled in the public health program at Harvard University, Adulyadej became the only monarch ever born in the United States. From birth, he began plotting his ascent to the throne, arranging his father’s death from kidney failure while he was less than 2 years old and beyond suspicion. He ascended to the throne at 19 when his brother either killed himself or was murdered or was shot by Adulyadej while the boys were playing with their guns. He would rule with a fairly benevolent fist as a near god for the next 70 years. Despite having limited actual authority, Adulyadej used his standing with the people – so beloved that he could thwart a coup just by inviting the embattled prime minister to tea – to keep the throne through a dozen military coups over his nearly three quarters of a century at the top. And if there were ignored massacres and crackdowns on freedom and civil liberties, they were necessarily evils to prevent a civil war while dragging his nation from backwards agrarian peasantry to a modern success of industry and commerce. 

Good Riyadh-ance

Or

So the imams gonna pray, pray, prayAnd the bloggers have no rights and get flayed, flayed, flayedAnd the women can’t drive, so they stay, stay, stayNow Saudi Arabia’s gonna sheikh, sheikh, sheikh
Sheikh it Off

Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, King of our woman-oppressing, terrorist-funding partner in peace Saudi Arabia, has died at the age of 90. King Abdullah was considered a progressive, tolerant head of state, despite Saudi Arabia being consistently being rated alongside North Korea and Turkmenistan in terms of civil and political liberty. In fact the last official act of his reign was approving the lashing of a blogger who had called for free speech. As there is no legal code, criminal “justice” still consists of judges’ interpretations of Islamic scripture, confessions secured through torture and then hands and feet being chopped off for theft, lashes for adultery and other “social” misdemeanors and while the world gapes in horror whenever ISIS beheads a prisoner, the Saudis average 90 a year for crimes as varied as sedition, carjacking, sorcery and drug smuggling. The head of the IMF referred to Abdullah as a strong, if discreet, advocate for women, as evidenced by his freeing women from the hassles of the road by ensuring Saudi Arabia remained the last country in the world where women are still not allowed to drive. Of course, given that women can’t leave the house, make a purchase, sign any legal document, agree to surgery, or take a class without the consent of either their husband or father, it’s not like they have a lot of reason to go anywhere anyway. When not oppressing his own people, the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques also turned a blind eye while millions of Saudi dollars filled the coffers of Al-Qaeda, et al, and the State Department referred to Saudi Arabia as a terrorist piggy bank in cables leaked by Edward Snowden. 

The Grimaldi Reaper

His Most Serene Highness Prince Rainier III is a little more serene today, finally succumbing to nearly a decade of lingering health problems at the age of 81. Under his reign, Monaco emerged from a collection of goatherds to become the world’s most glamorous open-air tax shelter, highlighted by Monte Carlo - the Reno of the Mediterranean. After years as a playboy, Rainier engineered the greatest travelogue ever with his storybook wedding to actress Grace Kelly. Since her death in 1982, he has remained single, which has enriched his mystique and standing among his people. The Prince had the second longest current reign among monarchs, and the second-longest reign in the history of Monaco. With Rainier’s death, his son Albert takes the throne, giving Monaco Prince Albert in a can. There has been some concern about succession, as the 49-year-old Albert remains a bachelor. The official line is that he is waiting to find his own Grace, although there is speculation he’s more of a Will man.

Dutch Treat

Princess Juliana, the modest and beloved queen of The Netherlands for 32 years, died early Saturday at the age of 94. During her reign from 1948 to 1980, when she abdicated in favor of her daughter, Queen Beatrix, Juliana eschewed the trappings of her royal domain, regularly dropping by subjects unannounced and asking if she could come in for tea, as though the state-funded largesse of the official palace wasn't enough. She fled with her family from the Nazi invasion in 1940, and returned to a devastated country at the end of the war. She oversaw the reconstruction of the country and gave freedom to former members of the Dutch Empire.

Mum's the word

After more than a century of bad hats, the Queen Mum passed quietly in her sleep Saturday morning, saddening a nation of Britons, and creating a flurry of activity in the Dead Pool. Typical of English royalty, her death is largely symbolic, as at 101 she offers no bonus points.

The updated leaderboard:
1st: Me 3 dead, 41 points
2nd: Mark 2 dead, 41 points
(tie) Keith 2 dead, 41 points
4th: Ryan 2 dead, 34 points
5th: Michelle 2 dead, 7 points
(tie) Conni 2 dead, 7 points
(tie) Nancy 2 dead, 7 points

As a reminder, the first determining factor is the number of correct corpses. Subtracting the newly deceased's age from 100 yields the tie-breaker points to separate the 6 participants who have properly picked 2 posthumous people.

And if you have the opportunity, please mock Joy, Joan-Marie and Jennifer for apparently not understanding the concept of the game.