Misanthrope, Philanthrope, Chance to Grope

The Big Kill

Or
Spillane Takes a Dirt Nap
(Props to Monty)

Or
Hammered
(Further accolades for Monty)

Or
Survival...Zero
(Kudos to Greg)

Or
Kiss Me Dead
(Greg does us another solid)

Or
Tomorrow I Die. No, Wait, Make That Right Now.
(A final tip o’the gumshoe cap to Greg)
Mickey Spillane, aces with his Smith Corona in dishing about leggy broads and pig-eyed punks getting iced, got 86ed by the Big Man Upstairs at the age of 88. Regularly getting the bum’s rush from critics, Spillane’s whiskey-soaked tales of cops and crooks and the broads who loved them sold more than 200 million books, and he wrote 7 of the top 10 selling books of all time. Spillane stuck in the national craw with his 12 Mike Hammer stories that were the basis of two TV shows 30 years apart. In addition to his book noir staples, Spillane also wrote a number of award-winning books for kids, presumably with a little less sex and violence. He came by the hard-boiled edge honestly, serving as a federal agent who helped break up a narcotics ring, a bust that left him with scars from two gunshots and a knife slash. Most probably remember his self-parodying appearances with a dame on each arm in gumshoe garb in 110 commercials for Miller Lite, an impotent potable no self-respecting Spillane private dick would be caught dead drinking.
Greg’s been waiting for Spillane to Kiss Off Deadly for three years and with the solo hit moves into second place. Spillane was the 100th hit in the 4+ plus years of the GHI.

You Win Some, You Lose Some
(Monty on the lieutenant governor beat)
Win Rockefeller, the low-key billionaire rancher turned lieutenant governor of Arkansas, has died of a rare myeloproliferative disorder, at the age of 57. The great-grandson of Standard Oil founder John D. Rockefeller, Win was a college dropout, thwarted state trooper and car salesman before scoring his inheritance. He then got a degree in ranch management, stepped up the philanthropy and when Arkansas Gov. Jim Guy Tucker got convicted of corruption and was replaced by lieutenant governor Mike Huckabee, Win was elected to complete Huckabee’s term. He was re-elected to the part-time post in 1998 and 2002 and had announced his intention to run for governor before his diagnosis. With a fortune of $1.2 billion, Win could have bought each of Arkansas’ 2.6 million residents about 30 books a piece and possibly done something about the worst literacy rate in the country.

Tits Up
(Props to Mark)

Or
Wings and a Prayer
(An epitaphany shared with Monty)
Robert H. Brooks, who built an empire on men’s love of hot wings and big boobs, has died of natural causes at the age of 69. Brooks started a natural foods company before figuring out tight shirts and short shorts would turn a larger profit than free range alfalfa. He bought the Hooters chain and with a mantra of “Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined” expanded to 425 restaurants worldwide.

Dead Things Come in Threes

Thanks to Depends, She Did Not Actually Shit the Bed

Or
The Perfectly Dead Wife
(Props to Monty)
June Allyson, whose Depends commercials opened the door to celebrities profiting off their physical infirmities, has died of pulmonary respiratory failure at the age of 88. Without her bold admission of incontinence, we may never have known George Kennedy has bad breath, Jessica Simpson has acne and Bob Dole can’t get it up. She also acted a little. In the 1950s, the wholesome, perky actress was the go-to perfect girlfriend and wife for Van Johnson, Jimmy Stewart and Robert Walker among others, in such films as Two Girls and a Sailor, The Bride Goes Wild, Her Highness and the Bellboy, The Stratton Story, Strategic Air Command. She partnered on and off screen with Dick Powell, sharing a rocky marriage and screen time in some mediocre movies before his death from cancer led to her alcoholism. Other roles included a lesbian murderess in They Only Kill Their Masters, her own variety show, and TV spots in Airwolf, Crazy Like a Fox and Misfits of Science.

Dawn dropped her after 2004 and Mark dropped her after 2005, his 5th premature deletion, allowing Mike to take first place for the first time ever with his third solo hit, building a commanding points lead.

Da End

Or
Da Dead
(Kudos to Michelle)
Crusty character actor Barnard Hughes has died at the age of 90. He was the computer programmer whose chess program was manipulated into the evil Tron. He was cranky country doc Aurelius Hogue in Doc Hollywood. He killed his wife so he could date his high-school sweetheart on a classic episode of Homicide: Life on the Street. He won a Tony in 1978 for best actor in Da, then reprised the role of the lovably lazy Irish widower a decade later on screen. He was sitcom poison, riding Doc, Mr. Merlin and The Cavanaughs into the ground within the first season, albeit with an assist from Christine Ebersole on that last one. He was better in smaller increments, as Bob Hartley’s dad on The Bob Newhart Show and an Emmy-winning guest stint as a senile judge on Lou Grant.

Hughes death was much ado about something for Michelle’s Dead and Deaderer, which moves into 8th.

Sayonara
(An epitaphany shared with Michelle)

Or
Better Dead than Red
(A cap tip to Michelle)

Or
Buttoned Up
(More from the Haus party)
Red Buttons, fiery voice of reason on the doomed ocean liner Poseidon, has died at the age of 87 from vascular disease. Buttons honed his comedy in burlesque and translated it to TV as one of its early stars with a successful self-titled variety show. Buttons won the Oscar in 1957 for best supporting actor for his portrayal of a soldier in a doomed romance in occupied Japan in Sayonara. He also played an unlucky paratrooper in The Longest Day, an innovative animal trapper in Hatari and the vitamin pill-popping bachelor who makes it to the bottom of the Poseidon. He re-teamed with Ernest Borgnine as disaster survivors in When Time Ran Out…

Red’s death puts Steve@the Movies’ in the black, as he joins the logjam at 17th.

And the Worms Ate into His Brain

Or
Dark Side of the Moon

Or
Shine On, You Crazy Dead Man
(Honorifics to Michelle)
Syd Barrett, troubled singer songwriter and co-founder of Pink Floyd, is comfortably numb, having slipped further into obscurity at the age of 60. Led by Barrett, the band set new standards for psychedelic experimental pop with Barrett writing most of the band’s early songs. However, Barrett suffered from mental instability, exacerbated by his daily use of LSD. His behavior grew increasingly erratic – such as smearing his head with Brylcreem and crushed tranquilizers which melted and ran down his face during one performance, or simply staring into space and detuning his guitar in the middle of another - and he left the group in 1968. Pink Floyd became one of the most popular rock bands of the ‘70s, but remembered their founding partner in the song “Shine On You Crazy Diamond,” and in their concept album about insanity “Dark Side of the Moon.” While being treated in various psychiatric hospitals, Barrett continued working on songs that eventually filled two highly regarded solo albums.

The Deadest Guys in the Room

Lay, Laddy, Lay, Lay Across My Big Grass Bed
(Props to Don)

Lay: No One Can Cheat Just One
(More kudos to Don)

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
(Accolades for pooler turned observer Christine)

Layed Out
(Laudatories for Monty)
Enron founder Ken Lay found a way to beat the rap this week, dying of a heart attack at the age of 64. Before sympathy kicks in – the heart attack occurred at his spacious Aspen vacation home. Maybe there’s something to this karma stuff after all. Convicted of fraud and conspiracy for destroying a company and the lives of thousands of employees who had their life savings invested in the company, Lay’s death heads off a decade of appeals, saving money and time for the Texas court systems and his grave gives ex-Enron employees a place to relieve themselves. Win-win all around.

As the Chamber Turns
Benjamin Hendrickson, best known for his 21 years on the soap opera “As the World Turns,” committed suicide with a single gunshot to the head at the age of 55. No note discussing a reason has been reported, but the phrase “best known for his 21 years on the soap opera ‘As the World Turns’,” may have come into play for the Julliard School Drama Division classmate of Patti Lupone and Kevin Kline in the first school’s first class and co-founder of The Acting Company with John Houseman. Hendrickson won the 2003 Daytime Emmy for supporting actor for his role as Chief of Detectives Hal Munson, and in his acceptance speech said: "To my mother who scrimped and saved to send me to Julliard to study the classics... I'm sorry." His last air date as Hal Munson will be July 12, 2006.

Go Fourth and Subtract

So, we’ve got some catching up to do. Three hits in the pool, a TV legend, a few cleared court dockets and some other stuff…

Limp-rechaun

Or
When Irish Eyes are Shut

Or
Wake-ing the Dead

Or
Haughey’s Health Fianna-ly Fails
(From the deathlist.net)
Charles Haughey, who showed the dangers of mixing drinking and democracy in riding a series of scandals to four terms as prime minister of Ireland has died at the age of 80. Haughey was credited with turning a stagnant Irish economy into one of the powerhouses of Europe. Course, he was apparently doing so on commission, as he spent his shame-filled retirement shuttling between an opulent mansion on a 280-acre estate, a private island and a yacht. A former gun-runner to IRA forces in Northern Ireland, Haughey discussed taking Belfast by force. Other scandals included taking blank checks drawn on the account of his party, Fianna Fail, for his personal spending, the time a murder suspect was found hiding in the home of the attorney general, an aide accused of stuffing ballot boxes, and the tapping of journalists’ phones, which forced his final departure from politics in 1992. In retirement, he made a public plea for donations for the cancer treatment of a longtime deputy, $40,000 of which he spent on tailored Italian shirts for himself. While one hand was in the till, his other was under the skirt of gossip columnist Terry Keane, who disclosed their 27-year affair on national television, stunning the country and Mrs. Haughey.

My unique insights into European politics and a lucky spotting of a story about his hospital stay in October helps my International House of Death score a solo hit to move into 6th place.

Dead body Here, Sherman There
Vincent Sherman, one of the last apparatchiks of the Hollywood studio system, has died at the age of 99. Under contract with Warner Brothers for 20 years, he was the anti-auteur, churning out solid if unspectacular films with the scripts and stars assigned. Sherman admitted he only liked a few of the 30 or so films he directed, but hey, he was getting laid by such stars as Rita Hayworth and Bette Davis, so he probably learned to cope. His resume includes such vaguely memorable films as Mr. Skeffington, Lone Star and The Young Philadelphians. His first film was The Return of Dr. X, one of Humphrey Bogart’s first starring roles as a murder who dies in the electric chair, but is resurrected and turns into bloodthirsty zombie. He also directed Ronald Reagan in The Hasty Heart, later referring to him as having a huge ego and little talent.

Kirsti expected Sherman’s March to Hell and takes the solo hit, joining the five-spot in 15th.

It was the best of times, it was the borscht of times
Jan Murray, whose career took him from the Borscht Belt to the boob tube, has died at the age of 89. A stand-up comic and entertainer in the Yiddish tradition of tummeling, Murray worked the Catskills circuit, then was a headliner in vaudeville and Las Vegas before taking on television. Murray’s poker game buddies were a who’s who of comic legends: Sid Caesar, Milton Berle, Shecky Greene and Buddy Hackett. Murray was the first game show star, hosting "Songs For Sale," in which aspiring songwriters had their work performed by then unknowns like Tony Bennett and Rosemary Clooney, "Dollar a Second," "Charge Account," and most famously, "Treasure Hunt," which ran from 1956 to 1959. He also served as one of Johnny Carson’s caddies in a career that spanned into the 1990s when asthma attacks screwed up his timing and forced his retirement. He also had a short-lived variety show with Tina Louise as a singer, played Uncle Raymond on My Two Dads and tried to find the enemy with Jerry Lewis in Which Way to the Front.