Gene, Gene, the Dying Machine

Eugene Roche, a character actor known for roles on TV shows of the 1970s and ‘80s and as the Ajax man of commercial fame, has died at 75. Roche played Archie Bunker’s nemesis Pinky Peterson, Magnum, P.I.’s rival Luther Gillis, Christine Sullivan’s father on Night Court, Webster’s landlord after George and Katherine left the high-rise apartment, Larry Appleton’s editor on Perfect Strangers and attorney E. Ronald Mallu on Soap. In the film Slaughterhouse-Five, he played a likable POW who was executed for looting after picking up a porcelain figure in fire-bombed Dresden.

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all

Sam Edwards, a career character actor who supplied the voice for Thumper in Bambi, has died at the age of 89. He also played town banker Mr. Anderson on The Little House on the Prairie.

Look, there in the ground. It’s a worm condo. It’s a compost heap. It’s the Superman announcer.

Jackson Beck, who opened the radio program Superman with a variation on that quote, has died at the age of 92. Although most closely tied with Superman, having provided the voices for villains on the radio program in addition to later voicing his boss Perry White and archenemy Lex Luthor on the 1960s cartoons, Beck also voiced Bluto in more than 300 cartoons and narrated G.I. Joe cartoons in the 1980s. Commercial roles have included Aqua Fresh, Combat roach killer, and the voice of Caesar Jr. in the Little Caesar commercials.

Highway to Helix

Francis Crick, who discovered the definitive way to get into a woman’s genes, has died at the age of 88. Crick and his partner James Watson won the 1962 Nobel Prize for discovering the double helix shape of DNA, or as Crick humbly put it, “unlocking the secret of life.” Their discovery determined that each strand of the double helix could become a template for copying an organism’s genes offered groundbreaking insight into evolution, and led to dozens of really bad sci-fi films. Their discovery at Cambridge University gave birth to the $30-billion a year biotechnology industry, including genetically enhanced drugs and vaccines, criminal identification and improved fertility. Crick and Watson eschewed such radical efforts as experimentation, preferring to think, argue and think some more, then leaving the typing to Watson’s sister and creation of the double helix model to Crick’s wife.

Although hailed as the dominant mind in molecular biology, his efforts beyond the cellular level were less well accepted. He argued that dreams were the mind’s way of storing memory more efficiently and in 1981 suggested that life on Earth began when microorganisms wafted in from spacecraft.

The Corpse of Greenwich Village

Carmine De Sapio, 95, the political kingmaker and final party boss of New York City who restored the power of Tammany Hall and selected the mayor of New York City and the governor of New York. Tammany Hall, as the Manhattan Democratic Party was known, has flourished at the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th century, but had waned in influence during World War II. De Sapio used his office as district leader of Greenwich Village to build his power base, and worked to elect his hand-selected candidates for mayor, Robert F. Wagner Jr. in 1953 and governor, W. Averell Harriman in 1954. In a cover story, Time magazine declared he could select the Democratic presidential nominee. He was later linked by a Senate investigator to legendary mob boss Frank Costello, and later was convicted in a bribery scandal. After losing the seat he held for two decades in 1961, his political comeback was thwarted when he was defeated by future mayor Edward Koch, who was part of a group trying to reform the backroom politics of the city. His defeat ended the reign of the boss system in the city.

Ruben it In

Ruben Gomez, who ushered in West Coast baseball, winning the first game in the history of the San Francisco Giants, has died at the age of 77. Gomez also was the first pitcher from Puerto Rico to win a World Series and helped the Giants win the pennant in 1962

Pop Rocks Doc Cops Box

William Mitchell, the food scientist who created Pop Rocks, was killed in a tragic accident while attempting to disprove an urban legend. After downing 5 packets of his sugary confection, he followed it with a swig of Dr. Pepper. Failing to account for the prune juice coefficient, Mitchell’s stomach exploded. “Coca-cola, sure, that’s safe, but Dr. Pepper? You’re asking for trouble,” said former LIFE commercials spokesman Mikey.

Cotton Kickin'

Cotton Fitzsimmons, who spent most of the last 30 years working for the Phoenix Suns in some capacity, has died at the age of 72. In three stints with the Suns, plus Atlanta, Buffalo, Kansas City and San Antonio, Fitzsimmons racked up 832 wins, 10th on the all-time list, and was twice Coach of the Year. In the 1980s, the Suns were involved in one of the worst drug scandals in NBA history, and there was talk the franchise might be moved, but Cotton came back to town, taking the franchise to 4 consecutive 50-win seasons and securing its place in Phoenix.

Watergate over the bridge

Frederick LaRue, who spread money among the “plumbers” from the Watergate break-in, has died at the age of 75. LaRue was a friend of President Nixon’s attorney general, and was convicted in 1973 for obstruction of justice for his role as the bagman. LaRue is one of those suspected of being Deep Throat, but thus far Robert Woodward and Carl Bernstein, who have pledged to reveal the name of Deep Throat after his death, have thus far not commented.

Silence is Goldsmith

Jerry Goldsmith, whose musical scores for dozens of films and television series earned him 17 Oscar nominations, had his own score settled at the age of 75. Goldsmith took home just one Oscar, to go along with 5 Emmys. His discography includes Star Trek, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Dr. Kildare, Patton, The Waltons, Total Recall, Looney Tunes: Back in Action, The Blue Max, L.A. Confidential, Basic Instinct, Chinatown, Barnaby Jones, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and his Oscar-winning The Omen. Goldsmith also famously got a blaring effect for Planet of the Apes by having his musicians blow horns without mouthpieces, and reportedly wore an ape mask while conducting the score.

Death and Taxes

Richard Bloch, co-founder of tax preparation giant H & R Block, was not granted an extension and has completed the short form at the age of 78. The brother's tiny tax preparation firm started with 6 employees in a Kansas City office in 1955, but within 10 years was processing 11% of all filings in the United States, and today prepares more returns than any other company. Diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in 1978, then colon cancer in 1980, Bloch survived and became a champion of cancer patients and research for a cure.

Life is Shorty

Irwin “Shorty” Yeaworth, who turned $140,000 and a lump of Jell-O into the box office hit and cult favorite The Blob, has died. Yeaworth also produced 4D Man and Dinosaurus! before turning his back on Hollywood and making hundreds of films with religious and social messages, none of which did him any good, as he died in a single car crash in Jordan. Perhaps a traffic safety video would have done him more good. Yeaworth also was in the process of completing a Disney World-style theme park of Jordanian history called Jordanian Experience at the Aqaba Gateway. You really can’t make this stuff up.

Visiting Davy Jones Locker

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Dead Duck

Peter Baird, the puppeteer who brought Howard the Duck to life, had his strings cut at the age of 52. Baird also worked on Shining Time Station, The Muppets Take Manhattan, and Davy Jones Locker, a continuation of the work of his famous puppeteer parents Bil and Cora Baird. (This one's all for you Greg. - Ed.)

Too Much Too Soon

Arthur “Killer” Kane, bassist for the punk pioneer band New York Dolls, has died of leukemia at 55. The Dolls disbanded in 1977, but reunited in June for London’s Meltdown festival and had planned additional gigs later this summer. The crossing-dressing band formed in 1971, mixing glam rock and punk in a well-regarded 1973 self-titled debut album, and a less well regarded 1974 follow-up Too Much Too Soon. After the disbanding, Kane formed his own Killer Kane Band and the Corpse Grinders.

Gym-a-nee kicks it

You may need to hug your local gym rat this week, as bodybuilding pioneer Joe Gold has died at 82. Gold founded Gold’s Gym in Venice Beach in 1965, welding much of the equipment himself, then sold it in 1970 and founded one of Gold’s biggest competitors, World Gym, in 1977. A veteran of WWII, he spent 6 months in a VA hospital after he was injured in the Battle of Leyte. After the war, his rehab turned into an obsession that caught the eye of Mae West for her touring male revue, and he later appeared in the films The Ten Commandments and Around the World in 80 Days. The 1977 film Pumping Iron documented Arnold Schwarzenegger’s training regimen at Gold’s, but his lasting legacy will be thousands of muscleheads in Zubazz flexing in front of mirrors and screaming ‘roid-laced obscenities at anyone less committed to their delts.

She’s got a deluxe apartment in the sky

Isabel Sanford, best known as long-suffering wife Louise “Weezie” Jefferson, died today at the age of 86, sparing her the ignominy of appearing in any more of those dreadful Old Navy commercials. In addition to The Jeffersons, Sanford played Weezie on its parent show All in the Family, as well as cameos in Jane Austen’s Mafia and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Sanford had spent 30 years on stage, and played the maid in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner with Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn, before landing the role of her career, for which she was nominated for 7 consecutive Leading Actress in a Comedy Emmys, scoring a win in 1980. Sanford had continued working through the last year of her life, including a Simpsons cameo last season, and was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame earlier this year.

6 Feet Down: Rhyming Crossword Puzzle Editor (13 letters, starts with ‘F’)

Frances Hansen, the fourth most prolific New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle writer, has died at the age of 85. A former teacher, Hansen decided that writing crosswords would be easier than solving them because she had all the answers. The New York Times initially disagreed, rejecting her first offering. After spending 8 months on a puzzle based on the Lewis Carroll book Through the Looking Glass, which featured many clues and answers written in reverse. Many of her puzzles were based on her original limericks and poetry, with clues being in perfect meter and rhyme and each consisting of exactly 21 lines. Her 83rd and final puzzle will appear in the Christmas edition of the Times Sunday magazine.

Last Supper

(Thanks to Touchdown Tammy Dotts for the header)

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Chef BoyRIP

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The Bidding is ClosedJeff Smith, the popular television cook known as the Frugal Gourmet before his career was derailed by a sex scandal, died at the age of 65. The cheap bastard, whose specialty was tossing salad, started on a Seattle PBS affiliate and was launched into the national spotlight after an appearance on The Phil Donahue Show, always signing off with his catchphrase, "I bid you peace." In 1997, seven men accused him of sexually molesting them as children. He was never charged, preferring the hush money route, but his television career was finished. Not surprisingly, Smith was also a Methodist minister, because you can take the boy out of the ministry, but you can’t take the minister out of the boy.

An Offing He Couldn't Refuse

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Apocalypse Cow

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Heart of Darkness

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Last Taco in Paris

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Streetcar Named Death
(Props to Tammy and Jennifer)
Marlon Brando, believed by many to be the greatest actor ever born in Omaha, Nebraska, died Thursday at the age of 80, choking on an orange after being chased by a small child with a leaf sprayer. A proponent of the Method style, wherein actors fully embody their performance, Brando had spent the last 10 years of his life preparing for a role as a crazy recluse who eats anything that can’t outrun him. Sadly, Orson Welles: The Transformers Years may never be completed. His best known early performances were sensitive brutes in A Streetcar Named Desire, The Wild Ones and On the Waterfront, and his Don Vito Corleone from The Godfather was one of cinema’s most memorable characters. Known as a problem child on the set, he objected to the studios’ choice of actor to play Sonny Corleone: Burt Reynolds, for which film-goers owe him a deep debt. In his later years his acting was overshadowed by his eccentricities, such as an inability or refusal to learn his lines, instead having lines written left on the set or printed on a baby’s diaper, or having them read to him through an earpiece, and his habit of swallowing anything that would fit into his mouth. Still, only Brando could play Superman’s father, earning him a cool $4 million for about 15 minutes’ work, and no one could parody Brando better than Brando, as he did in 1990’s The Freshman.

And as an aside to my fellow grim peepers, he was 80 years old and was one hamhock away from a home visit by Dick Gregory, but no one had him listed. We suck.