Passing. Passing.

Or

Got the Tigers by the Toe Tag

Or

Ilitch Scratched

Mike Illtch, owner of the worst wig in professional sports, has died at the age of 87. A minor league second baseman with the Hot Springs Bathers, Jamestown Falcons, Tampa Smokers, Miami Beach Flamingos, Charlotte Hornets, Norfolk Tars and St. Petersburg Saints, Ilitch was forced to retire because of a knee injury, so he and his wife started making pizza. A lot of pizza. As of 2007, annual revenue for Little Caesar’s Pizza was $1.8 billion. As of December 2016, Ilitch was the 86th richest man in the United States with a net worth of $6.1 billion. He chose to take that dough and invest in professional sports, first with the Detroit Caesars of the American Professional Slow Pitch Softball League, winning two World Series titles before the league folded, then the Detroit Red Wings, buying the team in 1982 for $8 million. The Red Wings had missed the playoffs in 13 out of 15 seasons before Ilitch bought the team, but he threw enough money at it to make the playoffs in 30 of the last 32 years, including the last 25, the longest active streak in North American sports and 3rd longest of all time, and racking up 4 Stanley Cups – the team’s first since 1955. He was an early owner in the Arena Football League, with the Detroit Drive, who made the ArenaBowl in each of the team’s 6 seasons, winning 4, before being sold and moving to Worcester, Massachusetts to free up time and attention for Ilitch’s next big purchase. He bought the Detroit Tigers in 1992, and he inspired the team to 12 losing seasons over the next 13 years, including an AL-record 119 losses in 2003, though over the last 11 years they won 4 AL Central titles and 2 pennants. He also bought up a lot of depressed real estate in Detroit when everyone in the city left, keeping it depressed while waiting for the investment to pay off. He was lauded for his philanthropic efforts, and after his death, it was revealed that after Rosa Parks was beaten and robbed in her own apartment, Ilitch quietly had her moved into a nicer neighborhood and paid her rent for the last 11 years of her life, ensuring that the civil rights icon would live long enough to win me the 2005 GHI.

Slicing his way to the dogpile at 12th is Mike’s Trash List. 

This is the 2nd fastest year to 15 hits (2007).