No Mayor, No Less

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Or

What's all the Hub-bub, Bub?

Thomas Menino, the longest serving mayor of the greatest city in America, has died of cancer at the age of 71. The accidental mayor took office in 1993 when Ray Flynn was named Ambassador to the Vatican and Menino, as President of Boston City Council, automatically ascended to the throne. He then steamrolled through 5 landslide re-elections. Though not a grand visionary, no one loved the city more, and he proudly called himself a “people-loving urban mechanic” as devoted to fixing the little things like potholes and parking that can make city life irritating as to recruiting new business to the city. Financially and fundamentally, the city flourished under his reign. After ascending to the mayor’s office, he promised to appear on Neighborhood Network News, a shitty low-rent community affairs TV show populated by two professionals and an ever-changing coterie of inept interns, once a month as long as he was mayor. I don’t know how long he kept that promise, but for the two years I was one of those interns, once a month the affable, if somewhat unintelligible, mayor good-naturedly endured cameramen moving at the wrong time and producers forgetting to hit record to talk about local issues to the 4 people tuning in. Other highlights of his tenure included telling architecture-obsessed Boston University President John Silber that the façade of a hotel the university had built was too ugly and had to be replaced, boycotting Boston’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade for its ban on LGBT involvement while marching in the city’s Gay Pride Parade, and after leaving the mayor’s office, teaching Political Science at BU. Last year, on the day of the Boston Marathon bombing, he left the hospital against his doctor’s advice to attend the first press conference and coordinate search efforts, then rose out of his wheelchair, the pulpit obscuring his catheter, 3 days later at an interfaith service to comfort his beloved city. 

Honey, I Shit the Bed

Marcia Strassman, enabler in the most inappropriate teacher-student relationship this side of Mary Kay Letourneau, has died after a lengthy battle with breast cancer at the age of 66. After a few modest successes with hippie music on the West Coast and replacing Liza Minnelli in an off-Broadway play, Strassman scored the recurring role of Margie Cutler, foil for Hawkeye’s amorous advances before he became sanctimonious. That job led to her best known role, Julie, the only of Gabe Kaplan’s myriad relatives that we actually see on Welcome Back, Kotter. After a decade of living off her residuals, she resumed her career as a harried wife, this time as that of inventor Wayne Szalinski in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and Honey, I Blew Up the Kid.

Washington Post Mortem

Ben Bradlee, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein’s handler in the FBI-plotted toppling of the Nixon administration, has died of complications from Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 93. Bradlee fought the Nixon administration over the publishing of the Pentagon Papers, then let Woodward and Bernstein run wild through the muddled Watergate break-in. Bradlee’s connections to attempts to crash the White House date to Nov. 1, 1950 when he hopped off a streetcar in front of the White House as two Puerto Rican nationalists attempted to shoot their way into Blair House in an attempt to kill President Harry S. Truman. Bradlee also was the man in charge when Janet Cooke won her Pulitzer. Normally, this would be a good thing. In Cooke’s case, her story about an 8-year-old heroin addict was revealed to be as fact-based as The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. Or your typical Bill O’Reilly book. 

Goughing My Way?

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Down Under

Gough Whitlam, the only Australian Prime Minister to get fired, has died at the age of 98. Whitlam led his Labor Party to the PMship for the first time in 23 years when he was elected in 1972. His public service began in 1952, when he was elected to Parliament, and after a narrow loss in 1969, got to tell all the Bruces and Sheilas what for. Though brief, Whitlam’s term as PM was significant – ending the draft, starting universal health care and free university education, starting land reform for the Aborigines, abolishing the death penalty and implementing the One Family, One Koala policy. In 1975, the Opposition-controlled Senate delayed passage of appropriation bills, effectively shutting down the government. Governor-General Sir John Kerr rewarded the tactic by sacking Whitlam faster than a moose-obsessed subtitlist and elevating the Opposition leader to prime minister. For those who thought that obstructionist tactics only bore fruit in American politics. After consecutive drubbings in national elections, Whitlam retired as leader in 1977 and left Parliament in 1978. His dismissal remains a much-discussed constitutional crisis, with the legality never fully determined, and more books have been about his written about his term than about any other Australian prime minister.

Oscar, the Ground

Oscar de la Renta, the only straight man in fashion, has died at the age of 82.  De la Renta was renowne as a designer for the stars of stage and screen and for First Ladies from Jackie O to Michelle O.

The Tide Is High, But He’s Not Holding On…

(Props to Terry Walsh)

John Holt, who owed more to Deborah Harry than he’d care to admit, has died at the age of 69. Lead singer for The Paragons, he wrote The Tide is High in 1967. The reggae song was a hit in Jamaica, and set Holt up for solo success, but was little known outside the islands until a certain platinum blonde lent her voice and made it a #1 hit for Blondie in the US and the UK. 

Hooks, Flatline and Sinker.

Jan Hooks, who’d be happy to take you on a tour of the Alamo’s basement, has died at the age of 57. Passed over for a spot on Saturday Night Live for Joan Cusack, Hooks dodged the bullet of the disastrous 1985-86 season, and instead joined the cast along with Dana Carvey, Phil Hartman, Victoria Jackson, and Kevin Nealon in 1986, forming, with holdovers Nora Dunn, Jon Lovitz and Dennis Miller, the strongest cast since the original Not Ready for Prime Time Players. She left SNL to replace Jean Smart on Designing Women, she played an amorous driving school student with a thing for foreheads in The Coneheads, voiced Manjula for a few episodes of The Simpsons, and played Jenna’s mother in two episodes of 30 Rock, making her the second parental unit from that show to die in the last 4 months (Elaine Stritch). We’ll miss you Buck Henry. 

7 UP, 6 Feet Down

Geoffrey Holder, best remembered for extolling the virtues of 7-UP as the un-cola, is now an un-spokesperson, succumbing to pneumonia at the age of 84. The Trinidadian-born dancer was a ballet and Broadway fixture before serving as Baron Samedi, one of Dr. Kananga’s crew in Live and Let Die. He won Tony Awards for Direction and Costume design for The Wiz, the first black man to ever even be nominated in either category. He also choreographed the Season 5 opening credits for The Cosby Show. With Richard Kiel, Holder is the 2nd Bond henchman to die in the last month. 

Tits Up, Doc?

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Physician Heal Thyself

Jean-Claude Duvalier, who dabbled in the sale of drugs and body parts while driving Haiti further into the depths of Third World backwardsness, has died of a heart attack at the age of 63. Calling himself Baby Doc to cash in on the finest tradition of Caribbean medical schools/surfing emporiums, at the age of 19 Duvalier inherited the biggest piece of shit island in the Western Hemisphere in 1971 upon the death of his father. Relations with the US improved significantly when Ronald Reagan took office, as an anti-Communist stance was enough to sweep any number of crimes under the table, including the torture of his own citizens and then selling their organs to rich folks who wanted to schedule transplants to avoid missing ski season. He fled the country in 1986, returning unannounced in 2011, where he was immediately arrested and put on trial for his numerous crimes. His death prevents the reconciliation the trial would have afforded the nation, allowing him to give one last “Fuck you,” to his countrymen. 

The Mourners Are Coming! The Mourners Are Coming!

Paul Revere, founding member of the near-miss band Paul Revere and the Raiders, has died, fittingly enough at the age of 76. Funeral arrangements will either be 1) by land or 2) by sea. Revere and the Raiders recorded Kicks, a sound alike for We Gotta Get Out of This Place, by the same songwriter. They also recorded Louie Louie in April 1963, the same month and in the same studio as The Kingsmen. It’s unclear who recorded it first, but we know which is the remembered version. They did hit platinum with Indian Reservation (The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation Indian)" aka, “Cherokee people! Cherokee tribe! So proud to live, so proud to die.” Playing to the Paul Revere name, the band dressed the part of Revolutionary War soldiers as they combated a new British invasion, but had all the gravitas of the Funky Phantom.