M-I-C, See you in Hell, K-E-Y, Why? Because you’re dead

Jaime Mendoza-Nava, composer for “The Mickey Mouse Club” among other jobs, has died at 79. Recognized as a musical prodigy by the age of 11, he attended Julliard and took first prize at the Royal Conservatory in Madrid. Mendoza-Nava put his prodigious talents to work scoring music for more than 200 movies, including “The Vampire Hookers,” “Psycho from Texas,” “The Legend of Alfred Packer,” “Jailbait Babysitter” and “Terror in the Swamp.”

Goodbye, City Life

(Props to Monty for sharing my epitaphany)

Or
We're So Sorry, Eddie Albert

Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen Acres is where they'll bury me
A bone farm in the O.C.
Worms chewing up my worthless hide
99 years and then I up and died

Coinciding with the recent release of Green Acres on DVD and the remake of The Longest Yard, Eddie Albert has died at the age of 99. Best known as perpetually perplexed Park Avenue lawyer Oliver Wendell Douglas who moves to Hooterville to live the simple life but instead finds himself surrounded by simpletons, Albert literally was one of the first people to ever appear on television, starring in NBC’s first live performance in an experimental television system in June 1936. Another notable and ironic role was as a cowardly commander in the 1956 WWII film Attack!, but in real life he won the Bronze Star with Combat cluster for valor for rescuing 70 wounded Marines during the Battle of Tarawa in WWII. He was twice nominated for best supporting actor Oscars, for Roman Holiday in 1953 and The Heartbreak Kid in 1972. Albert starred as sadistic Warden Hazen in the original The Longest Yard, creating a spot-on caricature of Richard Nixon at the height of the Watergate crisis, which will surely be watered down by James Cromwell in the remake. Albert was on his way to a movie career in 1938 when according to legend he was caught in a dalliance with Jack Warner’s wife and the studio boss let him languish under contract until he escaped into the Navy. Other films included the so-bad-its-good The Devil’s Rain and the so-dull-its-bad Goliath Awaits.

Shortstopped

Chico Carrasquel, the first great Venezuelan shortstop and the first Latin player to appear in an All-Star Game, has died at the age of 77. A slick fielder, Carrasquel teamed with Nellie Fox to form one of the best double play combinations of the 1950. Carrasquel singled in his first at-bat in the 1951 All-Star Game, the first of his four career appearances. Carrasquel became a hero and role model for his fellow Venezuelans, notably Hall of Famer Luis Aparacio, who succeeded Carrasquel as the White Sox shortstop in 1956, and three-time Ozzie Guillen, who also starred for the South Siders. On Opening Day at Comiskey Park last year, before Guillen’s first game as manager, the three shortstops participated in the first pitch ceremony, and he was honored with a video tribute and the playing of the Venezuelan national anthem prior to the White Sox first home game after his death. Still a revered figure in Venezuela, nutjob president Hugo Chavez declared two days of mourning.

The Remains of the Producer

Or

A Tomb with a View

(Props to Greg)

Or

Ismails End

(More plaudits for Greg)

Lovers of prissy costume dramas are in mourning as filmmaker Ismail Merchant has died at the age of 68. Merchant and long-time partner James Ivory made more than 40 glacially-paced films about well dressed people with impeccable diction, including adaptations of E.M. Forster novels A Room With a View, Howards End, each of which won three Oscars. Not all their products were so high-minded, as they were also the forces behind the 1995 laugher Jefferson In Paris, starring Nick Nolte as the fondling founding father. Merchant was elevating the culture right to the end, with four films in production at the time of his death.

Ravenscroft: Tomb Raider

Or

Quote the Ravenscroft? Nevermore

Or

You’re a cold one, Mr. Ravenscroft

Or

He’s Deeeeaaaad!

(Monty sharing an epitaphany)

Thurl Ravenscroft, the voice of Tony the Tiger for more than 50 years, has died at the age of 91. Ravenscroft’s career was based on his collaboration with the 20th Century’s two giants of kiddie culture: Dr. Seuss and Walt Disney. Ravenscroft provided the booming baritone behind “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” as the singing narrator for the Christmas classic “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” which later led to roles on “Horton Hears a Who” and “The Cat in the Hat.” You can’t toss a dwarf or swing a dead Aristocat at Disneyland without finding his voice, in locales including the Pirates of the Caribbean, the Enchanted Tiki Room as the German parrot, the Mark Twain River Boat, the Country Bear Jamboree as the buffalo head, the Disneyland railroad and the Haunted Mansion, where his bust is often mistaken for Uncle Walt’s, and he was the announcer at the Fantasyland castle opening. Ravenscroft also contributed to the Disney Golden Era of movies in "Cinderella," “Sleeping Beauty,” "Dumbo," “The Jungle Book,” “One Hundred and One Dalmatians” and "Lady and the Tramp." He also sang “No Dogs Allowed” on Snoopy Come Home and was part of the Mello Men, who provided vocals for one of my all-time favorite movies, El Dorado.

Elliott Mess

Stephen Elliott, bullying millionaire would-be father-in-law Burt Johnson in Arthur, has died at the age of 86. Other roles included the police commissioner on “Death Wish,” recurring cranky judge Harold Aldrich, on "Chicago Hope,” Jane Wyman’s ex-husband on “Falcon Crest,” Police Chief Hubbard on “Beverly Hills Cop” and Scotty Demarest, the recurring lawyer on “Dallas” who, among other things, unsuccessfully defended Bobby’s on-again, off-again love Jenna Wade in her trial for the murder of her ex-husband Naldo Marchetta after he had kidnapped her. He was also nominated for a Tony Award for his portrayal of Monsieur Coulmier in the 1967 Broadway revival of "Marat/Sade."

Your Funeral of Funerals

(Props to Monty)

Howard Morris, the beloved redneck Ernest T. Bass from The Andy Griffith Show, has died at the age of 85. Morris started performing in World War II, where he was Carl Reiner’s sergeant, then became “the other guy” in the classic comic ensemble on Your Show of Shows with Reiner, Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca. Morris was also a prolific director, and helmed the pilot for Get Smart, a show created by Mel Brooks, who had been a writer for Morris on Your Show of Shows. Brooks also found work for him in History of the World, Part I, High Anxiety and Life Stinks. In a classic Twilight Zone episode, Morris plays a nebbish who, when given a choice of wishes by a genie, ultimately decides to become a genie himself. Morris’ high-pitched raspy voice was also a natural for cartoons, and he spent 40 years in the Hanna Barbera family as Atom Ant, Beetle Bailey and General Halftrack, Mr. Peebles on Magilla Gorilla, Jughead Jones, Professor Icenstein and Luigi La Bounci from Galaxy High School

Yabba Dabba Dead

Henry Corden, who voiced Fred Flintstone for more than 20 years, has died at the age of 85. Inheriting the role when the original voice, Alan Reed, died in 1977, Corden held the role through Fred’s return to the little screen while battling Barney over Pebbles cereal and when introduced to George Jetson. He also voiced Smurfs, Ookla the Mok, Bump of the C.B. Bears, Paw Rugg and various characters on Johnny Quest, Kwicky Koala, Josie and the Pussycats and The New Tom & Jerry Show.

Say Goodnight, Frankie

(An epitaphany shared by Monty)

Or

Riddle me Death

(Props to Tammy Dotts)

Or

If It’s a Gorshin, It’s Gotta Be Dead

(Shout out to Monty)

Or

What has a Green Question-marked Suit and Grey Skin?

(More kudos for Monty)

Or

Riddled with Cancer

(Shamelessly stolen from stiffs.com)

Riddle me this:
It can't seen, It can't be smelt,
It can't be heard, It can't be felt.
It hide behind stars and under hills;
Empty holes It fill.
It come before and end after,
Ends life, kills laughter.

The answer is darkness, and Frank Gorshin, probably best known as the Riddler on the camp classic ‘60s Batman series, has got all he can handle. Originally a minor character in the Batman comics, Gorshin’s manic and Emmy-nominated performance as The Riddler made him one of Batman’s most frequent foes. Gorshin spent 50 years on stage, and was principally known as one of the all-time great impressionists. His performance as George Burns in the Rupert Holmes-penned Say Goodnight, Gracie drew rave reviews. Despite battling lung cancer, emphysema and pneumonia, Gorshin kept working to the end of his life, appearing in the season finale of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation that aired two days after his death. The Las Vegas-set series returned Gorshin to the scene of his greatest triumphs, first as an opening act for Frank Sinatra, and later as a headliner. Gorshin also had the good fortune to appear on The Ed Sullivan Show the night he introduced The Beatles. Gorshin observed the frenzied crowd and asked, "How do all these girls and guys know I'm here tonight?" Other career highlights included the black-and-white faced Commissioner Bele on Star Trek, master criminal Kellogg on Buck Rodgers and Fair Deal Dan on The Munsters.

The Grimaldi Reaper

His Most Serene Highness Prince Rainier III is a little more serene today, finally succumbing to nearly a decade of lingering health problems at the age of 81. Under his reign, Monaco emerged from a collection of goatherds to become the world’s most glamorous open-air tax shelter, highlighted by Monte Carlo - the Reno of the Mediterranean. After years as a playboy, Rainier engineered the greatest travelogue ever with his storybook wedding to actress Grace Kelly. Since her death in 1982, he has remained single, which has enriched his mystique and standing among his people. The Prince had the second longest current reign among monarchs, and the second-longest reign in the history of Monaco. With Rainier’s death, his son Albert takes the throne, giving Monaco Prince Albert in a can. There has been some concern about succession, as the 49-year-old Albert remains a bachelor. The official line is that he is waiting to find his own Grace, although there is speculation he’s more of a Will man.

Hearseog

Or

The Adventures of Augie Funeral March

Or (The Monty act)

Saul Whimper

Or (In the Michelle portion of the program)

Henderson the Remains King

Or

Dangling Dead Man

Or

Pall Bellow

Saul Bellow, one of the most honored authors in American history, has died at the age of 89. Alternately praised as one of the greatest novelists of the 20th century or criticized for writing "a travelogue for the timid mind," Bellow instilled his intellectual curiosity and insight, wry and sometimes dark humor and Midwestern sensibility in his characters. Bellow is the only author to have won the National Book Award three times, in 1954 for "The Adventures of Augie March," in 1965 for "Herzog" and in 1971 for "Mr. Sammler's Planet." In 1976, he won the Pulitzer Prize, for "Humboldt's Gift," as well as the Nobel Prize in literature. He continued producing novels (and children – he leaves behind a 5-year-old daughter) through the end of his life and since 1993, he had taught a literature course at Boston University. This has been a rough month for Boston University, who lost former first lady Kathryn Silber and Dean ad nauseum George Mackechnie, who had been affiliated with the school since 1929, in March.