He’s Not Dead, He’s Just Drawn That Way

Bob Hoskins, best remembered as Mario in Super Mario Bros., has died of pneumonia at the age of 71. Notable for often playing heavies because of his look and because he was British, Hoskins turned in a comic tour-de-force performance in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? as a toon-hating Sam Spade for which he received a Golden Globe nomination. Had Robert DeNiro not reconsidered turning down the role of Al Capone in The Untouchables, Hoskins would have been the one that wanted Kevin Coster dead, his family dead, his house burned to the ground. Instead Brian de Palma sent him a check for six figures, prompting Hoskins to call de Palma and ask if there were any other roles he didn’t want him to have. Other appearances that were strictly financially based included Smee in Hook and again in Neverland, J. Edgar Hoover in Nixon, Ginger Spice’s disguise in Spice World, and Winston’s voice in Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties.

He’s Not Dead, He’s Just Drawn That Way

Bob Hoskins, best remembered as Mario in Super Mario Bros., has died of pneumonia at the age of 71. Notable for often playing heavies because of his look and because he was British, Hoskins turned in a comic tour-de-force performance in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? as a toon-hating Sam Spade for which he received a Golden Globe nomination. Had Robert DeNiro not reconsidered turning down the role of Al Capone in The Untouchables, Hoskins would have been the one that wanted Kevin Coster dead, his family dead, his house burned to the ground. Instead Brian de Palma sent him a check for six figures, prompting Hoskins to call de Palma and ask if there were any other roles he didn’t want him to have. Other appearances that were strictly financially based included Smee in Hook and again in Neverland, J. Edgar Hoover in Nixon, Ginger Spice’s disguise in Spice World, and Winston’s voice in Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties.

 

Deep 76ed

Jack Ramsey, the basketball genius who sent Wilt Chamberlain out of Philadelphia, has died of cancer at the age of 89. Dr. Jack, so named after getting a doctorate in education from the University of Pennsylvania, started out coaching St. Joseph’s University in Philadelphia, making 10 postseason appearances in 11 seasons, highlighted by a 1961 Final Four appearance. Moving on to become the GM of the Philadelphia 76ers, Ramsey led the team to the then-best record in NBA history and the NBA title in 1966-67, his first season, and made 4 more playoff appearances as a head coach. A stint in Buffalo and more playoff appearances followed, then he took his basketball prowess and sartorial splendor national with his first coaching championship, in 1977 with the Portland Trail Blazers. All told, in 20 NBA seasons as head coach, he made the playoffs 16 times, earning induction into the Hall of Fame in 1992, then spent 30 years trying to convince people that a game consisting of grown men running around in their underwear and not playing defense was a sport worth watching. 

Deep 76ed

Jack Ramsey, the basketball genius who sent Wilt Chamberlain out of Philadelphia, has died of cancer at the age of 89. Dr. Jack, so named after getting a doctorate in education from the University of Pennsylvania, started out coaching St. Joseph’s University in Philadelphia, making 10 postseason appearances in 11 seasons, highlighted by a 1961 Final Four appearance. Moving on to become the GM of the Philadelphia 76ers, Ramsey led the team to the then-best record in NBA history and the NBA title in 1966-67, his first season, and made 4 more playoff appearances as a head coach. A stint in Buffalo and more playoff appearances followed, then he took his basketball prowess and sartorial splendor national with his first coaching championship, in 1977 with the Portland Trail Blazers. All told, in 20 NBA seasons as head coach, he made the playoffs 16 times, earning induction into the Hall of Fame in 1992, then spent 30 years trying to convince people that a game consisting of grown men running around in their underwear and not playing defense was a sport worth watching.

And That’s the Story of Hurricane

(Props to Peter)

Or

The Calm After the Storm

Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, who was made a star of song and screen by the corrupt prosecutors of the New Jersey criminal justice system, has died of prostate cancer at the age of 76. The one-time promising prizefighter was convicted in 1967 and again in 1976 of shooting 3 people in a tavern in 1966, with both verdicts being overturned on grounds of prosecutorial misconduct after Carter spent a mere 19 years in prison before recanting witnesses and new evidence brought a slow of lily-livered celebrities out of the woodwork whining about racism and police brutality. That support disappeared after Carter was charged with beating a woman unconscious while appealing his second conviction. Bob Dylan hit the Top 40 in 1976 with Hurricane and Denzel Washington earned an Academy Award for his portrayal of Carter in the simplistic and inaccurate 1999 movie that was really just a victory lap as the real Carter had been out of prison for almost 15 years. 

Death in the Time of Restless Leg Syndrome

Or

Chronicle of a Death Retold

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who rode cheesy romance and incestuous families to a Nobel Prize, giving hope to Nicholas Sparks and V.C. Andrews, or at least the sad little man who’s been ghost writing for her for the last quarter century, has died at the age of 87. 

Oh Mickey, You’re So Dead. You’re So Dead, You Blow My Head.

Or

Slipped a Mickey

Or

The Year Without Mickey Rooney 

Or

Andy Hardy Meets the Grim Reaper

Or

I Was the Biggest Corpse in the World

Mickey Rooney, whose co-stars included Care Bears, Muppets, Judy Garland and Adam Sandler, but somehow, in more than 200 films, never Kevin Bacon, has died at the age of 93. In his nearly 90-year career, Rooney did silent films, vaudeville, radio, Broadway, television, talkies, commercials, amateur porn and kid’s birthday parties. None of it very good. Rooney was renowned as someone who could sing, dance, clown, play drama – everything but grow, as the 5-foot-2 actor found himself too old to play kids and too short to play leading men. As Andy Hardy in a series of 15 films of the 1930s and ‘40s, Rooney was the biggest box office star in the world, while epitomizing American family values to a country that didn’t realize Andy would marry 8 times. He scored an Oscar nomination for Babes in Arms in 1939 and another 40 years later for The Black Stallion, and found a spot on the list of most offensive performances of all time as a caricature of a Japanese man in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. He voiced Santa in 4 Rankin/Bass specials, most notably Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town and The Year Without a Santa Claus, then switched sides and appeared in Silent Night, Deadly Night 5.