Graham Cracked

Graham Stark, who served as Peter Sellers’ best man at 4 different weddings, has died of a stroke at the age of 91. His friendship with Sellers led to him appearing, in various roles, in more Pink Panther movies than any actor other than Herbert Lom and Burt Kwouk. Serving in the RAF during World War II, Stark’s color blindness kept him grounded, so he entertained troops as part of the Gang Shows, which led to post-war appearances in a variety of comedy series, including Benny Hill, before scoring his own BBC sketch series, The Graham Stark Show, in 1964. He took a rare serious role in Alfie, taking in a woman and child scorned by Michael Caine’s titular arse. Notable roles on this side of the pond included a cameo as a butler in the video for Adam Ant’s Goody Two Shoes and the blind guy in Superman III.

Velvet 6 Feet Underground

(An epitaphany shared with Monty)

Lou Reed, the influential if underselling singer-songwriter, has died, somewhat unsurprisingly, of liver disease, at the age of 71, apparently confusing some fans of Lou Bega. As a member of the Andy Warhol-sponsored The Velvet Underground, Reed and company’s first album sold 30,000 copies in its first 5 years, but Brian Eno noted that every one of them started a band, so Reed will have that to answer for. Most commonly working around themes like sex (“Walk on the Wild Side”), and drugs (“Heroin”), his solo works included “Transformer,” “Berlin,” “New York,” and “Metal Machine Music,” which consisted of four sides of electric-guitar feedback strobing between two amplifiers, with Reed altering the speed of the tape recorder, and featuring no lyrics, drums, or anything anyone would remotely associate with music. Genius. 

Carol Keeled Over Bon Voyage

or

Good Night Mrs. Krabapple, Wherever You Are. 

Marcia Wallace, the ideal date for the Rev. Jim Ignatowski, has died of cancer at the age of 71. Best remembered visually as Carol Kester Bondurant, Bob’s sharp-tongued, red-haired secretary on The Bob Newhart Show and aurally as Edna Krabappel, chain-smoking, disillusioned, lonely hearts teacher on The Simpsons, Wallace was practically the co-host of The Merv Griffin Show, appearing 75 times. She reprised her role as Carol as one of Murphy Brown’s revolving cast of secretaries, played Marcia’s teacher on The Brady Bunch and played the maid on That's My Bush!

Lauter Off Dead

Ed Lauter, who gave Detectives Lewis and Crosetti a tour of sites associated with the assassination of Abraham Lincoln on an episode of Homicide: Life on the Street, has died of mesothelioma at the age of 74. The angular face and menacing demeanor made him the classic “Hey, it’s that guy,” heavy division. His more than 200 screen credits included the brutal prison guard in the better version of The Longest Yard, a cop who helped Charles Bronson clean the streets of New York as a homicidal vigilante, a rival scout in Trouble with the Curve, part of the crew in the crappy remake of King Kong, and Rick Moranis’ boss in My Blue Heaven. 

Out of Clear and Present Danger

Or

The Hunt for Dead October

Or

The Sum of All Cardiovascular Disease

Tom Clancy, creator of the techno-thriller genre, has died at the age of 66. His debut novel, The Hunt for Red October, layered technical details, late Cold War geopolitics, the tension of submarine combat, and created an intelligent action hero, in one of the best espionage thrillers ever written. He spent the rest of his career trying to do it again, with varying levels of success. The former insurance salesman sold millions of books, created successful video games, and became a multimillionaire who bought part of the Baltimore Orioles and his own tank. The level of detail in his novels disturbed many in the military establishment who demanded to know how he got such high clearance. He insisted his knowledge came from technical manuals, interviews with submarine experts, books on the military, and his own imagination, which occasionally strayed into classified areas.