Hamas Dinger

Another speed bump on the road to peace in the Middle East, as Israel decided the key to its security was using a 67-year-old blind, deaf, quadriplegic cleric for target practice. Sheik Ahmed Yassin, founder of the Islamic militant group Hamas, who found a spiritual basis for slaughtering hundreds of innocents, died of natural causes Monday morning when his wheelchair was hit by three missiles from an Israeli attack helicopter. Yassin’s funeral drew more than 200,000 pretty pissed off people, so this will surely work out exactly as planned.