Lie-ins and Tireds and Bears, Oh My
Berenstain Despair
(Courtesy of Monty)
Or
Although there may some who just couldn't care,
It's a sad, sad day for dear father Bere.
His readers will continue to read all the lore
While his wife takes care of the Stain on the floor.
(Also props to Monty)
Or
The Berenstain Bears and Metastasis
In a scene reminiscent of Werner Herzog’s Grizzly Man, Stan Berenstain, beloved children’s book author, was mauled and eaten by his creations, the Berenstain Bears, at the age of 82. Stan and his wife Jan were artists before Theodor Geisel, Dr. Seuss himself, approached them about developing a book on their own. After a few missteps, The Big Honey Hunt was released in 1962. The books helped kids cope with the drudgery of every day life, extolling virtue, as in The Berenstain Bears and Don’t Touch That, and punishing vice, as in The Berenstain Bears and the Citizen’s Arrest. But with more than 200 books about Mama, Papa, Sister, Brother and Baby Bear, they aren’t all going to be winners, and the later titles reflect the stagnation of the series, as in The Berenstain Bears Collect Royalties and The Berenstain Bears Phone it In.
Two fewer bosoms, one less buddy
(Mortification to Monty)
Or
Sometimes your Bosom Isn’t Your Buddy
(Shame to Shawn)
Or
Her Bosom Was No Buddy
(My Word to Mark)
Bosom Betrayers
(I couldn’t let them have all the fun)
Wendy Jo Sperber, best known as Amy from Bosom Buddies, has died at the age of 46, losing her 8-year battle with cancer, leaving Peter Scolari as the winner of “I Used to Know Tom Hanks and Now I Live in a Van Down by the River” Sweepstakes. Sperber also played Marty McFly’s sister in all three Back to the Future movies, chased Treat Williams in 1941, spoiled Tom Hanks’ Bachelor Party and did time in the slammer in Women in Prison.
Diamonds are Forever, but He’s Not
Marc Lawrence, the pock-faced, menacing villain in seven decades worth of movies, has died at the age of 95. He’s probably best remembered for throwing Plenty O’Toole off James Bond’s high-rise hotel balcony in Diamonds are Forever. When complimented on depositing her in the pool, Lawrence coolly replied “I didn’t know it was a pool down there.” Other memorable roles included being one of Edward G. Robinson’s gangmates in Key Largo and Scaramanga’s dueling partner in the opening sequence of The Man with the Golden Gun. Despite a career sidelined by the Hollywood blacklist in the 1950s, Lawrence made more than 175 movies, many as a leading man in Europe.
Power Outage
Vic Power, one of the first Latin stars in major league baseball, has died of cancer at the age of 78. A colorful player, he was regarded as a hot dog for his sweeping one-handed catches that snapped the ball out of the air and exaggerated way of leaping into throws, but he won 7 Gold Gloves in a career that saw time with the Philadelphia Athletics, Kansas City Athletics, Philadelphia Phillies, Minnesota Twins, Los Angeles Angels and Cleveland Indians and was highlighted by 4 All-Star Game appearances. He is also the last man to steal home twice in the same game, scoring the tying and winning runs in a 1958 Indians-Tigers tilt.
Sonny Set
Macon McCalman, a long time character actor who played the abstaining member of the Grady, South Carolina Town Council in Doc Hollywood, has died at the age of 72. He also played Deputy Queen in Deliverance, was the prosecutor in Fried Green Tomatoes and appeared in dozens of television sitcoms and dramas, including the episode of Dallas where Pam tells Bobby that she’s pregnant then drives into a tanker truck.
Concannon Fodder
Former Boston College star and Philadelphia Eagle benchwarmer Jack Concannon has died at the age of 62. Never able to duplicate his college success, Concannon became a cult hero in Philadelphia among fans pissed that the Eagles had traded Sonny Jurgensen for Norm Snead. While his name echoed in nearly empty Franklin Field as Snead’s teams struggled, Concannon started just three times for the Eagles, winning all three. In a story indicative of those frustrating seasons, indecisive head coach Joe Kuharich decided that the starter for the last game of the 1966 season would be determined by the length of the return on the opening kick-off. King Hill would start if the return was inside the 20, Snead would start if the return was between the 20 and the 30 and Concannon if the return was at the 30 or beyond. A careful spot gave Concannon the start, and he led the Eagles to their 9th win of the season, good enough for second place in the NFL East and the Playoff Bowl. After the season, Concannon was traded for Mike Ditka, then bounced to the Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, finishing with 36 TDs and 63 interceptions.
(Courtesy of Monty)
Or
Although there may some who just couldn't care,
It's a sad, sad day for dear father Bere.
His readers will continue to read all the lore
While his wife takes care of the Stain on the floor.
(Also props to Monty)
Or
The Berenstain Bears and Metastasis
In a scene reminiscent of Werner Herzog’s Grizzly Man, Stan Berenstain, beloved children’s book author, was mauled and eaten by his creations, the Berenstain Bears, at the age of 82. Stan and his wife Jan were artists before Theodor Geisel, Dr. Seuss himself, approached them about developing a book on their own. After a few missteps, The Big Honey Hunt was released in 1962. The books helped kids cope with the drudgery of every day life, extolling virtue, as in The Berenstain Bears and Don’t Touch That, and punishing vice, as in The Berenstain Bears and the Citizen’s Arrest. But with more than 200 books about Mama, Papa, Sister, Brother and Baby Bear, they aren’t all going to be winners, and the later titles reflect the stagnation of the series, as in The Berenstain Bears Collect Royalties and The Berenstain Bears Phone it In.
Two fewer bosoms, one less buddy
(Mortification to Monty)
Or
Sometimes your Bosom Isn’t Your Buddy
(Shame to Shawn)
Or
Her Bosom Was No Buddy
(My Word to Mark)
Bosom Betrayers
(I couldn’t let them have all the fun)
Wendy Jo Sperber, best known as Amy from Bosom Buddies, has died at the age of 46, losing her 8-year battle with cancer, leaving Peter Scolari as the winner of “I Used to Know Tom Hanks and Now I Live in a Van Down by the River” Sweepstakes. Sperber also played Marty McFly’s sister in all three Back to the Future movies, chased Treat Williams in 1941, spoiled Tom Hanks’ Bachelor Party and did time in the slammer in Women in Prison.
Diamonds are Forever, but He’s Not
Marc Lawrence, the pock-faced, menacing villain in seven decades worth of movies, has died at the age of 95. He’s probably best remembered for throwing Plenty O’Toole off James Bond’s high-rise hotel balcony in Diamonds are Forever. When complimented on depositing her in the pool, Lawrence coolly replied “I didn’t know it was a pool down there.” Other memorable roles included being one of Edward G. Robinson’s gangmates in Key Largo and Scaramanga’s dueling partner in the opening sequence of The Man with the Golden Gun. Despite a career sidelined by the Hollywood blacklist in the 1950s, Lawrence made more than 175 movies, many as a leading man in Europe.
Power Outage
Vic Power, one of the first Latin stars in major league baseball, has died of cancer at the age of 78. A colorful player, he was regarded as a hot dog for his sweeping one-handed catches that snapped the ball out of the air and exaggerated way of leaping into throws, but he won 7 Gold Gloves in a career that saw time with the Philadelphia Athletics, Kansas City Athletics, Philadelphia Phillies, Minnesota Twins, Los Angeles Angels and Cleveland Indians and was highlighted by 4 All-Star Game appearances. He is also the last man to steal home twice in the same game, scoring the tying and winning runs in a 1958 Indians-Tigers tilt.
Sonny Set
Macon McCalman, a long time character actor who played the abstaining member of the Grady, South Carolina Town Council in Doc Hollywood, has died at the age of 72. He also played Deputy Queen in Deliverance, was the prosecutor in Fried Green Tomatoes and appeared in dozens of television sitcoms and dramas, including the episode of Dallas where Pam tells Bobby that she’s pregnant then drives into a tanker truck.
Concannon Fodder
Former Boston College star and Philadelphia Eagle benchwarmer Jack Concannon has died at the age of 62. Never able to duplicate his college success, Concannon became a cult hero in Philadelphia among fans pissed that the Eagles had traded Sonny Jurgensen for Norm Snead. While his name echoed in nearly empty Franklin Field as Snead’s teams struggled, Concannon started just three times for the Eagles, winning all three. In a story indicative of those frustrating seasons, indecisive head coach Joe Kuharich decided that the starter for the last game of the 1966 season would be determined by the length of the return on the opening kick-off. King Hill would start if the return was inside the 20, Snead would start if the return was between the 20 and the 30 and Concannon if the return was at the 30 or beyond. A careful spot gave Concannon the start, and he led the Eagles to their 9th win of the season, good enough for second place in the NFL East and the Playoff Bowl. After the season, Concannon was traded for Mike Ditka, then bounced to the Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, finishing with 36 TDs and 63 interceptions.
posted by The Grim Reaper at 11:24 PM
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