Codger, Dodger, Protest Lodger

Duel to the Death

Or
Dream Weaver

Or
In the McClouds
(Shared approximate epitaphany with Mark and Craig)

Or
The truck finally got him
(Props to Craig)

Or
Gunsmoked
(More kudos to Craig)
Dennis Weaver, the most famous TV deputy until Enos handcuffed himself in Hazzard County, has died of complications of cancer at the age of 81. Weaver first hit the big-time as dim-witted, limping deputy Chester Goode, who became a hit with audiences despite the grating, drawling “Mis-ter Dil-lon,” spending 9 years on the longest running program of all time and winning an Emmy. After a litany of failed series – including two seasons as caretaker to Clint Howard and the world’s first domesticated black bear on Gentle Ben – Weaver hit the big time again as part of the CBS Mystery Movie amalgam as Sam McCloud, New Mexico deputy who through the miracle of plot contrivance transfers to New York and wears his cowboy hat and rides his horse through traffic jams like he’s Don Imus. Other roles included the classic Twilight Zone episode Shadow Play as a convicted man who keeps reliving his final day, a parody of his western roles as Buck McCoy in The Lastest Gun in the West on The Simpsons and just when you thought it was safe to play chicken with a menacing truck on a desolate road, Weaver, in Steven Spielberg’s feature directorial debut, proved otherwise in the 1971 TV-movie Duel. Off-screen, he was a loopy environmentalist living in a house made of trash and eating lichen and grubs.

Wild’s Heart Can Be Broken

Or
Grubs Go Wild

Or
Dead Man, What Now

Or
Jack in a Box
(From the Derby Dead Pool, where I have fallen to a 4 way tie for 35th)
Jack Wild, former child actor best remembered for his time on Living Island, has died at 53 of mouth cancer, because when it came to booze and cigarettes, he couldn’t do a little cause he couldn’t get enough. Wild’s big break came when he scored the lead in the stage version of Oliver!, then followed up as the Artful Dodger in the film version, scoring an Oscar nomination. Horribly dated musicals aside, Wild is best remembered for a boat trip to the island of misfit boys as part of the Sid and Marty Krofft LSD haze with H.R. Pufnstuf, the love child of Mayor McCheese and an iguana while wailing away on a carcinogen-laden talking flute. Wild spent the rest of the 1970s chasing away those memories with alcohol and cigarettes, and despite being clean for a decade, when mouth cancer was diagnosed in 2000, it required the removal of his voice box and tongue, and he was left unable to speak, drink or eat.

Free at Last
(Kudos to Monty for digging this one up)

Or
The Anarchist’s Condolence Book
Harry Browne, two-time Libertarian candidate for president, has found all the personal freedom he wants, succumbing to amytrophic lateral sclerosis at the age of 72. A motivational speaker and investment analyst, Browne carried the Libertarian flag to 5th-place finishes in 1996 and 2000, collecting almost 900,000 votes from people who did not heed Kang’s voting advice. Surprisingly, Brownes’ platform of eliminating the NEA, EPA, HUD, FBI, DEA, IRS and BATF, Social Security, welfare, federal income tax and the U.S. military in favor of a missle shield did not strike a chord with most voters. After the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, Browne decided that anarchy in the U.S. might not be the most effective way of protecting its citizens and became a Republican.