Blonde Over Blue
Or
The Fucking Bell Tolls For Thee, You Pansy
Or
You’re my Corpse, Blue
Or
Dust in the Wind
Or
Blue Streak
(Props to Monty)
Patrick Cranshaw, the only man to co-star with both Claudette Colbert and Lindsay Lohan, has died at the age of 86. An exact cause of death was not released, but rest assured it was not as enjoyable as his fate in Old School as Joseph “Blue” Palasky. Prematurely decrepit, since 1970 Cranshaw’s resume has included TV appearances that showed his range, running the gamut from Codger to Grandpa to Old Gentleman and, most commonly, Old Man. Other highlighted roles included a bank teller in Bonnie and Clyde, the demolition derby owner in Herbie: Fully Loaded, Mel’s Diner regular Andy on Alice, lovably senile patient Bob Scannell on AfterMASH, Jennifer Coolidge’s J. Howard Marshall-esque husband in Best in Show and the world’s slowest wrapper in Moving. Cranshaw had been active on screen to the end, recently returning to Fort Worth after completing his work on the 2006 release Air Buddies, the long-awaited sequel to Air Bud: Spikes Back.
Monty’s Comedy of Terrors was the only one to get tangled up in Blue and takes 20 points to pull into a three-way tie for first. This marks the 4th death in December. In the last 4 years we had had a total of 2 December deaths.
With 5 hits, we have us a leaderboard
1st Matt - 1 hit, 20 points
(tie) Paul - Pushing Daisies - 1 hit , 20 points
(tie) Monty - Comedy of Terrors - 1 hit, 20 points
4th Me - Our Hearse Is a Very, Very, Very Fine Hearse - 1, 10 points
(tie) Mark - Beltway Boneyard III: Fillibustering the Grim Reaper - 1 hit, 10 points
Die, bold
(An epitaphany shared by Craig and Monty)
John Diebold, who spent 50 years singing the praises of the computer age, has died of a computer virus at the age of 79. In his book Automation, Diebold predicted that computers would change the day-to-day operations of businesses in all sectors of the American economy. In hindsight, “Well, duh,” but this was in 1952, when a computer weighted 5 tons, took up 3 rooms and required 57 punch cards and a week and a half to do long division. Diebold convinced such major American companies as A.T. & T., Boeing, Xerox and I.B.M. to focus on computerization, forcing whole industries to revamp their way of doing business. His consulting group developed a network to usher in the days of automatically updating banking records, freeing patrons to use any branch and another network streamlined Baylor University Hospital's accounting, inventory, payroll and purchasing. Not only was he ahead of his time, but he remains ahead of our time – he predicted by 2010 defensive technologies would render nuclear weapons powerless and human tissue farms would grow replacement organs, while AIDS and heart disease would all but disappear.
Time to Make the Funeral Arrangements
(Props to Monty)
Or
Vale-dictory Address
(More kudos for Monty)
Or
Time to make the dead-nuts...
(Honorifics to Craig)
Or
Pulling down the Vale
(Another hat tip to Craig)
Or
Dead: the Baker
(Just showing that I still work around here)
Fred the Baker, the Dunkin' Donuts baker for whom it was always "time to make the doughnuts, has died at the age of 83. Cause of death was diabetes, no doubt brought on by years of the inhalatory and osmotic effects of donut glaze and exacerbated by perpetual sleep deprivation. Fred’s portrayer Michael Vale had greater aspirations, having studied at the Dramatic Workshop in New York City with classmates Tony Curtis, Ben Gazzara and Rod Steiger. While he never matched their critical acclaim, his 1,300 commercials ensured that anyone born since 1983 was far more likely to pick him out of a lineup. The lessons he learned at the Dramatic Workshop never left him, and he was known as a demanding perfectionist on the set. One tirade directed at Herve Villechaize for missing his mark dropped the diminutive co-star into a deep depression that ended with his suicide.
Clasped by the Hands of Fate
William Bryan "Bill" Jennings Jr., one of the last links to the worst film ever made, has died at the age of 86. El Paso businessman Hal Warren said that anyone could make a movie, and proved it, turning out Manos: The Hands of Fate, about a family that gets lost and falls into the clutches of a cult devoted to the Master and aided by his giant kneed henchman Torgo. Warren relied heavily on family, friends and associates like Jennings, who had a small role as a policeman, to fill out the cast.
Taken for Granite
John Druze, the last of the famed Fordham offensive line of the 1930s has died at the age of 91. Now that Fordham is winning about 3 games a year against the likes of C.W. Post and Towson it’s hard to conceive of them once having been a national power, but the Seven Blocks of Granite brought the 1936 team to within one win of a Rose Bowl berth while the 1937 squad, captained by Druze, finished 7-0-1 with 5 shutouts and were ranked No. 3 in the nation. One of Druze’s Granite-mates was future Green Bay legend Vince Lombardi and the unit was coached by future Notre Dame legend Frank Leahy.
The Worst of Anything
Rona Jaffe, hack novelist, has died at 74. Taking the successful Peyton Place formula of sex and suppressed women into the suburbs, Jaffe had a best-seller in 1958 with The Best of Everything. Panned by critics, Eisenhower-era housewives ate up the tales of Stenographers Gone Mild, as Caroline, April, Barbara and Gregg fend off lecherous men, get knocked up, go nuts and run off to Vegas, not necessarily respectively, but like it really matters. Jaffe also slapped together a quickie novel in the late 1970s to cash in on newspaper reports of missing teens who had been playing Dungeons & Dragons. Rather than doing a little research to find out what made these kids turn and fearing getting beaten to the bank, she crafted a broad picture of role-playing gamers as mentally unstable occultists in Mazes and Monsters, best remembered as a CBS TV-movie where Tom Hanks honed his craft as a psychotic planning his suicide between dice rolls.
Catch a Tiger by the Toe Tag
Julian ‘Bud’ Blake, creator of the comic strip ‘Tiger,’ has died at the age of 87. Created in 1965 and based on Blake’s childhood experiences, the strip won awards by the National Cartoonists Society in 1970, 1978 and 2000 despite being amateurishly drawn with punchlines that hit with all the power of a wet cheese curl. Blake continued writing the tedious adventures of Tiger, his little brother Punkinhead, best friend Hugo, dog Stripe and lady friends Bonnie, Suzy and Julian were based on kids from Blake’s youth in Nutley, N.J. until he was 85, and it can still be found in more than 100 papers right next to Prince Valiant, Mother Goose and Grimm and Animal Crackers.
The Fucking Bell Tolls For Thee, You Pansy
Or
You’re my Corpse, Blue
Or
Dust in the Wind
Or
Blue Streak
(Props to Monty)
Patrick Cranshaw, the only man to co-star with both Claudette Colbert and Lindsay Lohan, has died at the age of 86. An exact cause of death was not released, but rest assured it was not as enjoyable as his fate in Old School as Joseph “Blue” Palasky. Prematurely decrepit, since 1970 Cranshaw’s resume has included TV appearances that showed his range, running the gamut from Codger to Grandpa to Old Gentleman and, most commonly, Old Man. Other highlighted roles included a bank teller in Bonnie and Clyde, the demolition derby owner in Herbie: Fully Loaded, Mel’s Diner regular Andy on Alice, lovably senile patient Bob Scannell on AfterMASH, Jennifer Coolidge’s J. Howard Marshall-esque husband in Best in Show and the world’s slowest wrapper in Moving. Cranshaw had been active on screen to the end, recently returning to Fort Worth after completing his work on the 2006 release Air Buddies, the long-awaited sequel to Air Bud: Spikes Back.
Monty’s Comedy of Terrors was the only one to get tangled up in Blue and takes 20 points to pull into a three-way tie for first. This marks the 4th death in December. In the last 4 years we had had a total of 2 December deaths.
With 5 hits, we have us a leaderboard
1st Matt - 1 hit, 20 points
(tie) Paul - Pushing Daisies - 1 hit , 20 points
(tie) Monty - Comedy of Terrors - 1 hit, 20 points
4th Me - Our Hearse Is a Very, Very, Very Fine Hearse - 1, 10 points
(tie) Mark - Beltway Boneyard III: Fillibustering the Grim Reaper - 1 hit, 10 points
Die, bold
(An epitaphany shared by Craig and Monty)
John Diebold, who spent 50 years singing the praises of the computer age, has died of a computer virus at the age of 79. In his book Automation, Diebold predicted that computers would change the day-to-day operations of businesses in all sectors of the American economy. In hindsight, “Well, duh,” but this was in 1952, when a computer weighted 5 tons, took up 3 rooms and required 57 punch cards and a week and a half to do long division. Diebold convinced such major American companies as A.T. & T., Boeing, Xerox and I.B.M. to focus on computerization, forcing whole industries to revamp their way of doing business. His consulting group developed a network to usher in the days of automatically updating banking records, freeing patrons to use any branch and another network streamlined Baylor University Hospital's accounting, inventory, payroll and purchasing. Not only was he ahead of his time, but he remains ahead of our time – he predicted by 2010 defensive technologies would render nuclear weapons powerless and human tissue farms would grow replacement organs, while AIDS and heart disease would all but disappear.
Time to Make the Funeral Arrangements
(Props to Monty)
Or
Vale-dictory Address
(More kudos for Monty)
Or
Time to make the dead-nuts...
(Honorifics to Craig)
Or
Pulling down the Vale
(Another hat tip to Craig)
Or
Dead: the Baker
(Just showing that I still work around here)
Fred the Baker, the Dunkin' Donuts baker for whom it was always "time to make the doughnuts, has died at the age of 83. Cause of death was diabetes, no doubt brought on by years of the inhalatory and osmotic effects of donut glaze and exacerbated by perpetual sleep deprivation. Fred’s portrayer Michael Vale had greater aspirations, having studied at the Dramatic Workshop in New York City with classmates Tony Curtis, Ben Gazzara and Rod Steiger. While he never matched their critical acclaim, his 1,300 commercials ensured that anyone born since 1983 was far more likely to pick him out of a lineup. The lessons he learned at the Dramatic Workshop never left him, and he was known as a demanding perfectionist on the set. One tirade directed at Herve Villechaize for missing his mark dropped the diminutive co-star into a deep depression that ended with his suicide.
Clasped by the Hands of Fate
William Bryan "Bill" Jennings Jr., one of the last links to the worst film ever made, has died at the age of 86. El Paso businessman Hal Warren said that anyone could make a movie, and proved it, turning out Manos: The Hands of Fate, about a family that gets lost and falls into the clutches of a cult devoted to the Master and aided by his giant kneed henchman Torgo. Warren relied heavily on family, friends and associates like Jennings, who had a small role as a policeman, to fill out the cast.
Taken for Granite
John Druze, the last of the famed Fordham offensive line of the 1930s has died at the age of 91. Now that Fordham is winning about 3 games a year against the likes of C.W. Post and Towson it’s hard to conceive of them once having been a national power, but the Seven Blocks of Granite brought the 1936 team to within one win of a Rose Bowl berth while the 1937 squad, captained by Druze, finished 7-0-1 with 5 shutouts and were ranked No. 3 in the nation. One of Druze’s Granite-mates was future Green Bay legend Vince Lombardi and the unit was coached by future Notre Dame legend Frank Leahy.
The Worst of Anything
Rona Jaffe, hack novelist, has died at 74. Taking the successful Peyton Place formula of sex and suppressed women into the suburbs, Jaffe had a best-seller in 1958 with The Best of Everything. Panned by critics, Eisenhower-era housewives ate up the tales of Stenographers Gone Mild, as Caroline, April, Barbara and Gregg fend off lecherous men, get knocked up, go nuts and run off to Vegas, not necessarily respectively, but like it really matters. Jaffe also slapped together a quickie novel in the late 1970s to cash in on newspaper reports of missing teens who had been playing Dungeons & Dragons. Rather than doing a little research to find out what made these kids turn and fearing getting beaten to the bank, she crafted a broad picture of role-playing gamers as mentally unstable occultists in Mazes and Monsters, best remembered as a CBS TV-movie where Tom Hanks honed his craft as a psychotic planning his suicide between dice rolls.
Catch a Tiger by the Toe Tag
Julian ‘Bud’ Blake, creator of the comic strip ‘Tiger,’ has died at the age of 87. Created in 1965 and based on Blake’s childhood experiences, the strip won awards by the National Cartoonists Society in 1970, 1978 and 2000 despite being amateurishly drawn with punchlines that hit with all the power of a wet cheese curl. Blake continued writing the tedious adventures of Tiger, his little brother Punkinhead, best friend Hugo, dog Stripe and lady friends Bonnie, Suzy and Julian were based on kids from Blake’s youth in Nutley, N.J. until he was 85, and it can still be found in more than 100 papers right next to Prince Valiant, Mother Goose and Grimm and Animal Crackers.
posted by The Grim Reaper at 1:02 PM
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