Sloppy, Slobby, Hockey

Cold Corpse, Keeler’s X,
British Politician Sex,
Old Tory DOA,
What else do I have to say?
John Profumo, whose schlong did more to bring down a Conservative Prime Minister than the Labour Party, has died at the age of 91. In 1961, Profumo was a well-respected and high-ranking Conservative holding the office of the Secretary of State for War. Then the married pol had an affair with a showgirl named Christine Keeler, who had previously had a fling with the senior naval attaché at the Soviet Embassy. The story broke in 1962 and by 1963, Profumo had resigned after lying to the House of Commons, Prime Minister Harold MacMillan had resigned citing health issues which were exacerbated by the scandal, and the pimp who organized the sex parties where Profumo met Keeler had killed himself. By 1964 Labour was running the show. The scandal in staid England was a big enough deal for Billy Joel to immortalize: Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician Sex, JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say – right before chronology became too difficult and the next 25 years are treated as a single entity. After resigning, Profumo spent 40 years raising money for a welfare center, earning the CBE in 1975.

For those scoring at home, because Mark certainly isn't, that's his 4th premature evacuation of a previous listee.

You got Serbed!
(Props to Joe Wright)

Or
Yugone
(Kudos to Craig Barker)

Or
See – I told you I was sick
(From the Derby Dead Pool, where I am now in an 8-way tie for 36th)

Or
He got no feel, his sinus wave got no rhythm
His heart just kept losing its beat.
He’s not OK, he’s not alright
But he ain’t gonna face no defeat.
Slobodan just had to get out of his prison cell.
Saturday Slobby set himself free.
Against all odds, the United Nations finally accomplished something productive in the Balkans as former Serbian strongman Slobodan Milosevic died in a UN jail cell while undergoing a war crimes tribunal at the Hague that had, ironically enough, been delayed by Milosevic’s repeated claims of ill health. Milosevic wasn’t known as the “Butcher of the Balkans” for his skill with a lamb shank. As the leader of the Yugoslav Republic, Milosevic ordered the deaths of thousands, ahem, allegedly ordered, in the ethnic cleansing campaign against non-Serbs as the former Yugoslavia went through the messiest break-up since Creedence Clearwater Revival. All told, he had been indicted on 66 counts for crimes ranging from unpaid library fines to genocide and had the distinction of being the first sitting head of state to be tried for such crimes. With his death before a verdict was handed down, many feel that justice was not served, but there’s at least a little justice in one of the worst humans on the planet dying alone on the floor of a jail cell.

Showing Mark’s not the only one with bad instincts, Tom had Slobby in 2004 and decided the UN couldn’t be as wrong about a man’s health as it is about genocide in Africa.

The final horn sounds
(More laudatories for Craig)

Or
The Flame goes out
(And another tip ‘o the cap for Craig)

Or
Doomed Doomed
Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion, apparently the first hockey player to think to hit the puck really hard with his stick, died at the age of 75, hours before his number was retired by the Montreal Canadiens. Geoffrion was credited with inventing the slap shot en route to helping the Canadiens win 6 Stanley Cups, including a record 5 straight from 1956-1960. His nickname came from the sound of the stick blade hitting the puck followed by the sound of the puck slamming into the boards. He didn’t hear the second boom very often during the 1960-61 season, as he became the second player ever to score 50 goals in a season en route to the Hart Trophy as league MVP. In 1972, he made the Hall of Fame and was named the first head coach of the expansion Atlanta Flames, making the playoffs in the team’s second season, 1973-74, getting swept by the Philadelphia Flyers. Other highlights included getting booed by his home fans for winning the 1954-55 scoring title after surpassing teammate Maurice Richard who had been suspended for a stick swinging incident, the 1951 Calder Trophy as rookie of the year, being forced into retirement by the Canadiens to make room for Yvan Cornoyer with the promise of succeeding Toe Blake, who really wasn't ready to move on after all, a week as head coach of the New York Rangers before ulcers forced his retirement and a decades long schism with his beloved Canadiens.