The Eagleton Has Been Planted

Or
Electroshock and Awww
Thomas Eagleton, one of the world’s most famous electroshock recipients has died at the age of 77. While many think you’d have to be crazy to want to be vice president, after it was revealed he had been institutionalized for mental illness three times and had received electroshock therapy, Eagleton withdrew as the Democratic nominee for vice president in 1972 to spare taxpayers the cost of fitting Blair House with a rubber room. Constitutional scholars also were unclear on how Eagleton would place his hand on a Bible to take the oath of office if he were wearing a strait jacket. Eagleton was a first-term senator from Missouri when presidential candidate George McGovern tapped him as his running mate. When news of his crazy days came to light, Eagleton was forced to resign after 18 days as a candidate, and McGovern and replacement VP nom Sargent Shriver got their sane brains beaten in by Richard Nixon. Missouri was more supportive of its native loon and re-elected him to the Senate twice more, where he took a leading role in stopping the US bombing of Cambodia in 1973 and sponsored the War Powers Act which sought to limit Nixon’s Imperial Presidency before going bipolar and voting against the watered down final bill.