White Lilies: A New Fragrance from Elizabeth Taylor
(Props to Shawn)
Or
Cat on a Cold Metal Slab
(Kudos to Monty)
Or
8 Weddings and a Funeral
(Shamelessly stolen from stiffs.com)
Elizabeth Taylor, serial bride, diamond shill, and Oscar winner for Butterfield 8 before she ate fields of butter in her later years, has died of congestive heart failure at the age of 79. With any luck, this means we’ve seen the last of those godawful 20-year-old White Diamonds commercials. Throughout her career, Taylor tended toward edgier roles, first drawing attention in National Velvet as a cross-dressing pre-teen horse fetishist, winning an Oscar in Butterfield 8 as a hooker and another as a whiny, violent alcoholic in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, playing a gold-digging seductress in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, with other ex-hookers, adulteresses and drunks mixed in for good measure. When not acting, Taylor was a big fan of getting pelted with rice, with 8 trips down the aisle. Richard Burton once said "Elizabeth's breasts are apocalyptic, they would topple empires before they withered." Several marriages fell as well. She led off with Conrad Hilton, but checked out after 9 months; bent Michael Wilding’s stiff upper lip after 5 years; fell hard for Mike Todd, who then fell hard in a twin-engine Lockheed; Todd’s friend Eddie Fisher was at her side, gradually working his way around to the front and dumping Debbie Reynolds in the process; turnabout was fairplay as Fisher was on the outside looking in at Taylor’s Cleopatra co-star Richard Burton; after 10 years, Dick and Liz divorced, forgot why they divorced and got remarried, remembered why and re-divorced after 16 months; 6 months after that divorce, Taylor hit the campaign aisle with Senator John Warner, who was term limited at 6 years, and then, seemingly by accident, she married fellow rehabber Larry Fortensky for another 5-year bite of the apple. Later years were marked by humanitarian efforts, primarily to fight AIDS, playing Fred Flintstone’s mother-in-law Pearl Slaghoople and providing Maggie Simpson’s voice for her first word.
Suddenly last week, 4 Pooligans picked apart Liz’s 20 points, with Jen taking 3rd, while Michelle’s A Kiss Before Dying (But Not With Vigoda), Shawn’s Team Older, and my R.I.P. from the Headlines 3 – R.I.P.est join the dogpile at 13th. Also of note, my first GHI Bingo, and 12th overall, – 2005 – Better Dead Than Red State
Or
Cat on a Cold Metal Slab
(Kudos to Monty)
Or
8 Weddings and a Funeral
(Shamelessly stolen from stiffs.com)
Elizabeth Taylor, serial bride, diamond shill, and Oscar winner for Butterfield 8 before she ate fields of butter in her later years, has died of congestive heart failure at the age of 79. With any luck, this means we’ve seen the last of those godawful 20-year-old White Diamonds commercials. Throughout her career, Taylor tended toward edgier roles, first drawing attention in National Velvet as a cross-dressing pre-teen horse fetishist, winning an Oscar in Butterfield 8 as a hooker and another as a whiny, violent alcoholic in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, playing a gold-digging seductress in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, with other ex-hookers, adulteresses and drunks mixed in for good measure. When not acting, Taylor was a big fan of getting pelted with rice, with 8 trips down the aisle. Richard Burton once said "Elizabeth's breasts are apocalyptic, they would topple empires before they withered." Several marriages fell as well. She led off with Conrad Hilton, but checked out after 9 months; bent Michael Wilding’s stiff upper lip after 5 years; fell hard for Mike Todd, who then fell hard in a twin-engine Lockheed; Todd’s friend Eddie Fisher was at her side, gradually working his way around to the front and dumping Debbie Reynolds in the process; turnabout was fairplay as Fisher was on the outside looking in at Taylor’s Cleopatra co-star Richard Burton; after 10 years, Dick and Liz divorced, forgot why they divorced and got remarried, remembered why and re-divorced after 16 months; 6 months after that divorce, Taylor hit the campaign aisle with Senator John Warner, who was term limited at 6 years, and then, seemingly by accident, she married fellow rehabber Larry Fortensky for another 5-year bite of the apple. Later years were marked by humanitarian efforts, primarily to fight AIDS, playing Fred Flintstone’s mother-in-law Pearl Slaghoople and providing Maggie Simpson’s voice for her first word.
Suddenly last week, 4 Pooligans picked apart Liz’s 20 points, with Jen taking 3rd, while Michelle’s A Kiss Before Dying (But Not With Vigoda), Shawn’s Team Older, and my R.I.P. from the Headlines 3 – R.I.P.est join the dogpile at 13th. Also of note, my first GHI Bingo, and 12th overall, – 2005 – Better Dead Than Red State
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