The Corpse Formerly Known as Prince

Or

This Is What It Sounds Like When the Doves Cry

(An epitaphany shared with Patrick)

Or

Short of Breath

(Props to Patrick)

Or

Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here to Get Through this Thing Called Death

(Kudos to Erik Corley)

Or

The Artist Formerly Known as Living

(Additional accolades for Erik Corley)

Prince Rogers Nelson, best remembered for his touching cameo in the Super Bowl episode on New Girl, has died, possibly the result from overdose of pain pills, possibly from the pain itself, possibly from a severe depletion of Pantone 2602, at the age of 57. The pocket-sized purple freak has finally fulfilled his pledge to die 4 U, and I hope U can live with Urself. The funkiest person ever to come out of Minnesota (no offense, Greg) served as a songwriter for such diverse talents as Sinead O’Connor, The Bangles, Cyndi Lauper, Chaka Khan, Sheila E and MC Hammer. Along the way, he also upset Tipper Gore with his ode to masturbation, Darling Nikki, moviegoers everywhere with Purple Rain, and all other rock groups by raising the bar to unattainable levels with his 2007 Super Bowl halftime performance. And if you wanted a better obit for the music legend, you should probably find someone whose CD collection (and yes, that’s as up to date as I am) consists of more than 3 TV theme songs compilations, 4 Monty Python collections, Abbott and Costello doing Who’s on First?, the Best of the Monkees and a Best of the ‘80s set from my Entertainment Weekly subscription.